Popular reggae singer, Orits Williki, talks about his fatherhood journey with GBENGA ADENIJI.
What does fatherhood mean to you?
To me, fatherhood means responsibility to one’s children and mentoring.
What were the things that prepared you for fatherhood?
My late father, Reverend Joshua Williki,
mentored me. He taught his children good principles and showed us the
right path to tread; the path set by the holy Bible. I have not departed
from that path since.
mentored me. He taught his children good principles and showed us the
right path to tread; the path set by the holy Bible. I have not departed
from that path since.
What was your greatest fear before you became a father?
I had no fear whatsoever because l was
eager to impart the virtues I learnt from my father to my children. I
was confident and ready for the challenges of fatherhood even before I
became a father.
eager to impart the virtues I learnt from my father to my children. I
was confident and ready for the challenges of fatherhood even before I
became a father.
When did you become a father?
I became a father early in life.
How did you feel the first time you held your first child in your hands?
I felt great and excited. I had goose pimples when I first held my baby in my hands.
Did you expect a particular child gender prior to the arrival of your child?
Yes, I was expecting a boy actually but
it turned out to be a girl. I was very happy notwithstanding and my joy
knew no bounds. Moreover, my mother used to say that it brings joy to
the family when a man has a girl as his first child.
it turned out to be a girl. I was very happy notwithstanding and my joy
knew no bounds. Moreover, my mother used to say that it brings joy to
the family when a man has a girl as his first child.
How do you discipline your children?
l do more of counselling, using drama
illustrations most of the time. I also use a lot of examples from the
Bible and to God be the glory, it has always worked for me.
illustrations most of the time. I also use a lot of examples from the
Bible and to God be the glory, it has always worked for me.
What hardest punishment did you mete out to any of them who once acted up?
I cannot really remember the hardest
punishment I gave anyone of them who misbehaved. Like I said earlier, l
do more of counselling and usage of illustrations from the Bible. I am
very close to my children and because of this, whenever I am angry
sometimes, I will deliberately refuse to talk to anyone of them who did
wrong. Refusing to talk to them is considered the worst for them. At
that moment, they will prefer any worst punishment to that.
punishment I gave anyone of them who misbehaved. Like I said earlier, l
do more of counselling and usage of illustrations from the Bible. I am
very close to my children and because of this, whenever I am angry
sometimes, I will deliberately refuse to talk to anyone of them who did
wrong. Refusing to talk to them is considered the worst for them. At
that moment, they will prefer any worst punishment to that.
What values did you learn from your father which you passed on to your children?
One of the values I learnt from my
father, which I passed on to my children, is the fear of God. I let them
know that it must come first in whatever they do. Also, they are
encouraged to be humble. They are made to understand that humility will
take them to the next level. I always tell them, as part of the values I
imbibed from my father, that they should set their goals and not lose
focus. Their eyes should constantly be on the ball.
father, which I passed on to my children, is the fear of God. I let them
know that it must come first in whatever they do. Also, they are
encouraged to be humble. They are made to understand that humility will
take them to the next level. I always tell them, as part of the values I
imbibed from my father, that they should set their goals and not lose
focus. Their eyes should constantly be on the ball.
What have been your greatest challenges as a father?
The greatest wish of every good father
is to set his children on the right path. For them to attain higher
greatness but this dream always does not come on a silver platter.
is to set his children on the right path. For them to attain higher
greatness but this dream always does not come on a silver platter.
What are the lessons fatherhood has taught you?
To be a mentor and a teacher in the
upbringing of my children because the foundation of knowledge of any
child starts as early as age zero to three years when the only mentor
and teacher the child sees are his or her parents. If the foundation is
wrong, then there will be a big problem later.
upbringing of my children because the foundation of knowledge of any
child starts as early as age zero to three years when the only mentor
and teacher the child sees are his or her parents. If the foundation is
wrong, then there will be a big problem later.
What greatest gift did you give your children?
The greatest gift I have given my
children and continue to give them is love. This is because love
conquers all against all barriers.
children and continue to give them is love. This is because love
conquers all against all barriers.
What female roles did you do in the house as your children were born?
I cooked, watched over the baby all
night, including during annoying late night cries, changing diapers,
feeding the baby and so on.
night, including during annoying late night cries, changing diapers,
feeding the baby and so on.
How have you been able to teach your children the essentials of good upbringing?
I teach my children the basics of good upbringing by being their role model, mirror and guard.
Were there things you would have loved to do differently as a father?
l have always been responsible for all
my actions. I am the captain and the man at the driver’s seat. I make
errors sometimes by taking some wrong decisions but I own up to them and
do not shirk my responsibilities because the buck stops at my table.
my actions. I am the captain and the man at the driver’s seat. I make
errors sometimes by taking some wrong decisions but I own up to them and
do not shirk my responsibilities because the buck stops at my table.
You are a musician. How have you been able to conveniently combine your musical engagements with parenting?
l am not a champion but l try to prioritise situations as they come. I know it has not been an easy thing.
Is any of your children showing interest in your career?
Yes and that is the reason l struggle
always to ensure that there is a solid structure in the industry for it
to thrive in the right direction. We are more or less still in the
industry for the passion. We are in showbiz because of the love we have
for it and society at large.
always to ensure that there is a solid structure in the industry for it
to thrive in the right direction. We are more or less still in the
industry for the passion. We are in showbiz because of the love we have
for it and society at large.
How much of your time do you give your children?
I spend any free time I have with my family. My home is a place of fun and humour to be hence we miss it all the time.
What is the hardest part of parenting?
The hardest part of parenting is to
exhibit patience and devote quality time to one’s children. Parenting is
usually very challenging for working parents.
exhibit patience and devote quality time to one’s children. Parenting is
usually very challenging for working parents.
What is your advice to children who lack fatherly guidance?
Usually, these people always end well.
There is a saying that when a father is giving a piece of advice to his
child, the fatherless eavesdrops and picks what will be beneficial to
him or her in the conversation.
There is a saying that when a father is giving a piece of advice to his
child, the fatherless eavesdrops and picks what will be beneficial to
him or her in the conversation.
What advice did you give your children about relationship?
I told them to put God first in anything they want to do. Also, I tell them never to rush into relationships.
How best do you think fathers can play meaningful roles in the lives of their children?
Fathers can impact positively on their
children by continuously monitoring and assessing them. They should
never get tired talking to them. Besides, it is important for fathers to
be the confidant and best friend of their children.
children by continuously monitoring and assessing them. They should
never get tired talking to them. Besides, it is important for fathers to
be the confidant and best friend of their children.
What is your take on having a favourite among children?
It is a wrong thing to do. As humans
sometimes, one may take certain actions that may suggest so but the
mother has a role to play in reassuring the children that they are loved
equally because she spends more time with them.
sometimes, one may take certain actions that may suggest so but the
mother has a role to play in reassuring the children that they are loved
equally because she spends more time with them.
In what ways do you appreciate your wife for taking care of the home front during your busy schedules?
I appreciate my wife for her care and support by not failing to show appreciation in every way possible always.
How have your children expressed appreciation for your sacrifices as their father?
They know who their father is and the
role they are expected to play as children. They put this into
consideration always and know that they must not be found wanting any
day.
role they are expected to play as children. They put this into
consideration always and know that they must not be found wanting any
day.