Foremost comedian, Alibaba has opined that there is an epidemic than is worse than Ebola.
In a piece titled Singleton, comedian Alibaba expressed his
thoughts on the challenges single mothers in Nigeria face and how they can
overcome these challenges.
Every now and then, I meet and get messages, from
ladies, who either lost their jobs, widowed, pregnant and no job, the
guy who impregnated them absconded, or is around but doesn’t give a hoot,
or working but can’t meet the financial demands of raising kids on
their own, or the guy agreed to having the babies and to support with
their upkeep… But things happened and he couldn’t come through with
the promised support.
Single mothers are increasing in numbers
consequent on one or two of the reasons mentioned above. And this always
makes me ask, is it not possible to avoid being caught up in some of
these tough situations? I know its impossible to know if you will be a
widow and left with 2 or 3 kids to raise by yourself, as a mother. But
when it happens, what is the solution?
Some ladies just want to
have kids, because they attended a birthday party and they saw Kemi with
her 2 lovely kids. They also know Kemi has no visible source of income.
Wake up!!!!! Kemi has sources of income. Ruff n Tumble DOESNT dash kids
clothes weekly… To be honest, you don’t want to know what she does to
make those kids look desirable enough to make you want to have yours.
Maybe Kemi has a job. Maybe she has a rich husband. Or maybe she has a
loaded boyfriend. Saved up wealth. She could be the “saving grace” of a
guy who has been looking for a child. She may have rich parents. She
could be a surrogate mum. Who bore the kids and is caring for the kids
for the true parents…. Maybe, just maybe…
But, hey, nobody
can stop you from wanting to have your own child or children. You ought
to. And if they don’t come naturally, adopt. There is no issue with
that. Only problem is, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO PREPARE YOU FOR THE CHILD
OR CHILDREN YOU PLAN TO BRING INTO THE WORLD? What are your plans
towards taking care of them as they grow… Knowing that it cost more to
bring a child up now than it did when our parents had us. That is not
to say it was any easy on our parents. But hey, kids’ fees these days
for a single school term, is a total of alllllllllllllll our primary up
to university fees, plus allowances.
So lets say your bobo agrees
to you getting pregnant. And you got pregnant. And he bails on you.
What will you do? Lets even suppose you have a job. What will you do
when you resume after your maternity leave… Good Nannies cost a lot.
Bad nannies even cost more. Minimum subscription for a nanny now is
about 25k… That DOESNT include her upkeep and consumables… Abi she
no go dey chop for the house?
Okay… Before you guys begin to
say WHATS ali baba’s own sef… Let me just say, I get whatsapp,
twitter, Facebook and text messages from single ladies who are pregnant
or have kids, but do not know what to do to take care of themselves, not
to mention the kid or kids they have… Because of some of the reasons I
mentioned in my first paragraph. I have helped when I could and advised
when it’s advice they want. But, with the access and opportunities
social media has opened up, these request for assistance based on the
challenges of raising kids by single mothers, have become a regular
feature in my inbox, DM, whatsapp and even one on one.
So I ask
again, what can single ladies do, that will prepare them for when the
kids come and there is no bobo, sugar daddy, father, husband or the
equivalent… Or do to support what she earns even when there is such a
person who is a significant other?
DONT get me wrong o… There
are ladies who can hold their own and even still put the guy who they
are with on a monthly allowance. They are not “among of” what I am about
here. So zip it.
I know someone will think I have nothing to do,
that’s why I am writing this… But trust me. There is an epidemic out
there. It’s not EBOLA but single ladies are going through this daily.
And it’s how to be a single mum and still hold your head high in the
face of school fees, house rent, parental demands, sibling
responsibilities, looking good, career pursuit, peace of mind, remain
sexy and responsible,…
You may call me whatever… But soon you will be wondering why abandoned children are flooding orphanage homes..