Mr. and Mrs. Matthew Akinrole, aged 81 and 80 respectively, talk about their lives with MOTUNRAYO JOEL.
Please tell us about yourselves.
Husband: I am Matthew Akinrole born on June 21, 1934. We are both from Yewa North Local Government Area of Ogun State.
Wife: I am Deaconess Comfort Akinrole. I was born on November 22, 1935.
What year did you get married?
Husband: We married on April 18, 1957.
You have been married for about 59 years, what is the secret?
Husband: It is the
grace of God. He has been our strength. We could not have stayed this
long together by our efforts. We are both grounded in the word of God.
After we had our first two children, we waited for 12 years to have the
third child in 1974. The situation further strengthened our marriage and
faith in God.
Do you think love alone was what sustained your marriage?
Husband: No, it is combined with the grace of God. He strengthened our love for each other.
Wife: God made me love my husband totally. On a daily basis, I saw his strengths and not his weakness.
Are you saying your love for her has been the same since the first day you met her?
Husband: Yes, it grows
deeper each day and we see ourselves as brother and sister. The teeth
can offend the tongue but there are ways they try to live in harmony.
There are times we have misunderstandings but it does not last for long.
It was only once we reported to our pastor, immediately he resolved the
matter, we carried on with our lives. Since then, we deal with our
issues behind closed doors.
Have you been tempted to marry another wife?
Husband: Before I
became a born again Christian, at my place of work, there was a lady I
met and desired her to be my second wife. I was an assistant headmaster
in the school at the time. But my feelings for her disappeared when I
became born again.
Where there times your husband behaved strangely and you doubted your love for him?
Wife: There was no such time. I loved him and I still do.
You put on your wedding ring. For how many years have you had it on?
Wife: I have been putting it on for about 42 years. I see no reason why I should take it off.
How did you meet your wife?
Husband: I was posted
from Egbado Divisional Teacher’s Training College (now Yewa Teacher’s
Training College), Ogun State, to be the Head Master of a particular
school and it happened that my wife’s brother, who later became a
friend, also worked in the school. It was during my visits to his house
that I met her. I liked her the first day I saw her.
She looked cool headed and homely to me.
I just liked her personality, though she was not approachable from the
outset. She did not give me a positive answer when I made my feelings
known to her.
Wife: He was initially
not my type of man; I never wanted to marry a teacher. I wanted a man
who had a lot of money and a good job, not a teacher. I told him he
could not take care of my needs.
What then made you change your mind?
Wife: After I got to
know him very well, I saw that he has a kind heart and the fear of God. I
gradually began to fall in love with him.
Did you have other male admirers?
Wife: Yes I did and it
happened that they were all teachers. But after I gave my heart to him, I
shut out other suitors. After marriage, my life changed. God
transformed me for good and gave me peace. It felt great not having to
think about other suitors.
What aspect of his character attracted you?
Wife: He is quiet and
always greets people. I love that about him. I looked past his physical
looks; his character matters more to me.
Husband: I once asked her what made her fall for me, even with my tribal marks? She told me what she just said.
What age did you get married?
Wife: I think I was 23. We had a registry wedding.
What was your profession at the time you got married?
Wife: I sold foodstuffs.
What were the challenges you faced during your work life?
Husband: I faced
financial challenges more. My salary was poor; there was a time I was
not paid for five years. Throughout that period, my wife was of great
support. I retired as an Inspector of Education in 1987. Since 1988, I
have been a retiree.
What can you say about the current system of education compared to your time?
Husband: There are not
enough teachers. In my time, teachers were more committed to their jobs.
As an Inspectorate, teachers behaved well. I was nicknamed 77. I
resumed at 7am and left office at 7pm. Teachers nowadays cannot spend
that long hours in school. Also in my time, the government was
supportive. We were given vehicles to do our work. I doubt if one can
say all these about education today.
How do you both keep yourselves busy?
Husband: My wife is a trader while I am an evangelist. I am busy with the work of God.
Do you have any regrets in life?
Wife: I have no regrets
at all; I married the best woman in the world. She is someone who
endures hardship. There were times we went through a rough time in life,
but she remained committed.
Were you opportune to have an education?
Wife: No, I did not go to school.
Husband: Many years
back, our former church, Baptist, had a school where they trained
ministers’ wives. I enrolled her in the school. She attended it for two
years.
Which schools did you attend?
I attended Christ Church School, Ilaro,
Yewa, 1950, Egbado Divisional Teacher’s Training College (now Yewa
Teacher’s Training College), Ogun State, St Paul’s College Abeokuta,
Ogun State in 1960, Advanced Teacher’s College, Surulere, Lagos in 1975
and I also obtained a diploma at the University of Ibadan, Oyo State in
1983. I retired after 35 years in service.
You seem to have a good memory.
Husband: Yes, it is the grace of God. I loved history when I was school. I also loved cramming dates.
What were the professions of your parents?
Husband: My father was a
famer while my mother was a petty trader. I worked with my father on
the farm until I ran away. I told him I wanted to go to school. I was 10
years old at that time. I have eight siblings; sadly six of them have
passed on. I have just one sister left.
Wife: My father was a
farmer too while my mother was a trader. I have seven siblings; two of
them are still alive, others have passed on.
How many children do you have?
Wife: We have three
children. The first child is a matron at a general hospital. The second
child is based in Ilorin while the last child lives in Lagos.
Why did you stop at three?
Wife: We had a break of
12 years after we had our first two children. We believed God planned
it that way, and it suited us perfectly because we were not financially
buoyant to train many children.
You both look agile for your age. What is the secret?
Wife: We have no
secret. It is the goodness of God. Many of our age mates look really
old, haggard or have passed on. God has just been good to us.
Husband: About three or
four years ago, I fell sick and I had even left a will but God healed
me miraculously. My hair is black despite my age. I did not dye it. My
black hair is hereditary.
Do you still cook for him?
Wife: Yes, I still cook his meals. In fact, he eats a lot.
What are your best meals?
Husband: My favourite food is yam and vegetable or beans with vegetable.
Wife: My best food is pounded yam with egusi soup.
You both live alone?
Wife: Yes, I do not
have a house help. I do my work by myself. House helps are problematic.
Many of them have much evil in them. At a time, I was looking for a maid
but my nephew advised me not to get one. She told me how one caused the
death of her employers who were a couple. Aside that, doing house work
makes me stronger.
Husband: I cannot stand seeing a house help live at home without getting education and that means more financial expenses for us.
Do you help your wife with house chores?
Husband: I am lazy. I do not do anything. All I do is eat and go to church.
What time do you sleep?
Husband: We go to bed by eight or nine. If the weather is hot, we got to bed by 11. It all depends on our moods.
How many more years do you hope to live together?
Husband: God knows
best. Our prayer is that when it is time to die, our children,
grandchildren and great grandchildren should all be successful. We do
not want to bury any of them.
Some couples wish that they both die on the same day…
Husband: That is our
prayer, but I do not want my wife to die before me. I pray I go before
her. We pray to meet each other again in heaven as children of God. It
is for a reason we would not want to make it public.
Have you lived a fulfilled life?
Wife: Yes I have. There is nothing else I need in life other than for God to protect my children.
Are there still things you personally hope to achieve?
Husband: I want my children to build houses and be comfortable in life.
After living together for about 59 years, you must know many things about each other. Tell us some of them.
Husband: My wife’s best colour is white.
Wife: My husband best colour is white too.
What is your advice to young couples?
Husband: Before any one
gets married, one should seek the face of God. Not all that glitters is
gold. One should rely on God for guidance, marriage is not something
one can taste and then opt out. Even when married, couples should remain
prayerful. They should remain faithful to themselves.
Wife: If a woman has
the fear of God, submitting to her husband would not be a problem. If
one marries for money, the marriage won’t last.
Is love enough to sustain a marriage?
Husband: Love is important, but love
alone can’t sustain a marriage. Every marriage needs the word of God to
excel. In addition, respect, honesty and submission are necessary
ingredients to sustain a marriage. Above all, couples must share the
same vision. If they don’t, their marriage will experience friction.
Do you still pay attention to your looks so you can look attractive to your husband?
Wife: Yes, I pay attention to my looks always.
Husband: My wife is a
good dresser. She can spend hours tying her gele (head gear). Whenever I
am going out, she always ensure my tie is well knot and my trouser is
in a perfect shape.