do I begin? (You might want to pull up a chair for this if you want to
know to secret to a lasting marriage/relationship). This Wooden
Anniversary message (yep! that’s what 5 years of marriage is called
apparently…not as flattering as.
This Wooden Anniversary message (yep! that’s what 5 years of marriage
is called apparently…not as flattering as Silver, Golden or Diamond but
it’s a start) is not to highlight the traits that the world already
knows you have @titithedynamite…Hard worker, Woman of Faith, Children
lover, Entrepreneur, Superwoman, Stubborn Woman, Beautiful, Inspiring,
Media Woman per excellence, Understanding, most times Patient and of
course the one I love best…My Cheerleader. This “wooden” message is
dedicated to the people who have lost faith in the sacred institution
called marriage …or those who believe that they won’t find ” the one”.
The truth is that there is no “one” at first sight…..but there is
“someone” that can be nurtured through faith and hard work by both
parties to become the “one”. Those close to me know that I have always
said that anyone can marry anyone IF you are willing to compromise on
certain things in the relationship in addition to the fact that the
person you end up with MUST be worth all the pain they will bring your
way…If they are not worth the pain, then my friend #ontothenextone! cos
the pain WILL COME !!!! I have always been an advocate of everyone’s
right to pursue what makes them happy and run away from things that
don’t….why? cos you only have #1lifetolive
By the way…that was not the secret to a good marriage/relationship…thats towards the end of this message #justwait
I have erred… I have lost my way several times (any man that
tells you otherwise is a …..#fillintheblanks) but @titithedynamite has
always been my due North…my North star…My way back home and that is why
my loyalty and love to her will be eternal.
The joys of our union
is evident in blessings like our children @amberandrubyoyinsan aka Iyanu
and Anu Oyinsan (…for the “don’t they have Nigerian name” peepu #choi )
and all the projects that we have both embarked on individually and
collectively based on a strong conviction and the mandate we have been
given by God as individuals and as one unit.
We live in a
different world now where people base their perception of life at the
speed of thought or text based on what is seen and not what is unseen or
working in the background.
Social media platform is a
double-edged sword, it cuts both ways but for today people, it will be
used for good! So please focus on the message…
This medium and
message is being used to light up the dark places in our hearts and
minds that have been bombarded with the notion that marriage is “not
worth it” or “an impossible task”. It is worth it because love in all
its facets was not meant to be enjoyed alone. It’s to be shared between
two people who deeply love and care for one another till death do them
Since it’s our wooden Anniversary, a very apt analogy (that I
will never forget) was given by Daddy Adeboye aka Daddy GO when he came
for the formal opening of where I used to work. He said I am
paraphrasing: “A man is like a rough piece of wood and a woman like
sandpaper. The carpenter will keep rubbing one against the other until
smoothness is achieved for the piece of wood, the friction is needed to
achieve this smoothness. What happens eventually is that the wood and
the sandpaper at the end of the task end up both having smooth surfaces”
The friction is all the bad stuff in
marriage/relationship, the smoothness is all the good stuff which you
will only be able to truly judge at the end of the “task”. This wooden
analogy is what the building blocks of marriage (or any relationship) is
based on. It’s not a function of faith or skin color or tribe or
ethnicity or the church you attend/don’t attend OR the job you have or
the good/bad family you came from..
All the things I mentioned
have their place in a marriage/relationship (positively and negatively)
but the analogy it’s just a principle that when applied will give the
desired result or outcome.
In our journey as a couple, we have
always had an added advantage, a secret weapon that has kept us strong
and guided (this is where the secret lies people)… we have a verse
(our verse) from the Bible that states “Humble yourselves in the sight
of the Lord, and he shall lift you up” _James 4:10. This verse is
literally set in stone in our home as a daily reminder when you walk in
and out of the door. Emphasis is on “sight of the Lord” and not man.
God who made you knows you the way others don’t and can’t. Others might
have an idea of who you are (as an individual or a couple) or what you
represent based on their yardstick from their personal experiences…but
ultimately God sees your heart so please live your life(ves) for him and
him alone. There are other principles (Biblical and otherwise) that
time won’t permit me to, but please embrace the general idea here.
you live your life for God …and your partner do also, you will look
back with a smile on your wooden (5th), Tin (10th), Crystal (15th),
China (20th #nocommentonthisonesha) , Silver (25th), Pearl (30th), Ruby
(40th), Golden (50th) and Diamond (60th)…anything after na extra time
I like to call this principle the triangle. (this is the secret
people so gerrin here) The two people form the base of the triangle and
look up to God, the apex. What happens is when your partner hurts you OR
does something you dislike…you look up NOT sideways to your partner for
comfort or justification of their action. Hold them accountable o but
peace of mind for yourself comes from looking up. If all parties are in
sync…the triangle will always stand forever
All my English and
analogy about patience, understanding, the wood, and sandpaper is based
on the two looking across from one another and not up to the Apex. It
might be stable for a while BUT the ultimate stability happens when you
both look up!
As @titithedynamite and @oscarinthecity look
up to our apex, Please do join us in saying a prayer or 2 or tagging
someone that this message will inspire to always look up to God in
relationship..work or any aspect of their lives.
This is a
principle that has worked for us as a unit through 4 years of courtship
and 5 years today of marriage. Even if this does not work for you or is
not working, It’s our prayer that God in his infinite wisdom grants you
the wisdom to discern that which works for you. Don’t be afraid to make
those mistakes but more importantly don’t be ashamed to look up to the
apex when there is no other option. Man will always fail or disappoint
(please don’t hold it against them, it’s OUR nature to let one another
down, no matter how noble our intentions are). This is why you are
getting married to the “God” in your partner and not just your partner.
The “devil” in people is what a lot of us base our judgments on
the Actor Donald Sutherland said in the 2003 movie, The Italian Job ” I
trust everyone, I just don’t trust the devil inside them”
There is great joy to be found after the pain. Trust us…we know
No family without family support…A big thank you to the Adelagun and Oyinsan families (both nuclear and extended)
have both learnt a lot from our families and we stand strong 5 years
after our families merged because of your unrelenting prayers, support,
and advice over the years. #youknowurselves #wink. May God’s blessings and protection never depart from our families IJN
To our friends, colleagues over the years who know our story,
our beginnings..thank you so much for your contribution to our
To those we have touched directly or indirectly through
our gifts as individuals or a couple, we stay keep hope alive..there is a
reason you are alive..there is a purpose to your existence, Please
don’t give up.
God in his infinite mercy and wisdom continue to
bless you all as we dedicate our 5 years today as an offering and a
testimony to the institution called marriage.
ps: On a wedding
anniversary in many countries it is traditional to give a gift to your
partner to symbolize the number of years of marriage. So #basedonlogistics baby, there is a 4X4 Oakwood under your pillow #woodenanniversary #loveyoulongtime …next stop #TINanniversary.
Happy 5th Anniversary Titilayomi…Thank you for being on my team and
being an excellent mum to our girls. I am so happy they have you to look
Aspire, Achieve, Together, Forever #TGL2017 #mydynamitewoman#mamabejitomoye #iyawooscar #iyaamberandruby“
YOU NEED TO DO THIS: Follow us on Instagram - get the most important news directly in your favourite app!