Love should not feel restrictive | Dabota Lawson lectures on how to know you are in a manipulative relationship

Dabota Lawson is not a strange name in the Nigerian entertainment industry. The ex-beauty queen took to her Instagram account on how to know who wants to destroy you!

She said Emotionally
bonding with an abuser is actually a strategy for survival for victims
of abuse and intimidation. What she wrote below…

Anybody
who comes into your life in the name of relationship then tries to
isolate you from the people who love you such as family and good friends
wants to DESTROY YOU. 

Love should not feel restrictive . control,
manipulation and obsession aren’t signs of true, passionate love — they
are signs that your partner is controlling and manipulative. these are
the signs of a potentially abusive partner, a partner who ; forces you
to dress in a certain way . ….. forbids you from interacting with
family or friends. ….. Makes You Feel Guilty When You Spend Time With
Your Friends. ….. Criticize Lots Of Small Things That You Do in such a
manipulative way that you don’t even know you’re being controlled .
….. Never allows you any form of privacy ,

Even people who are
deeply in love are allowed to have some privacy. ….. claims to
“protect” you by taking control of your finances, chasing away a friend,
or keeping close tabs on where you are and what you’re doing at all
times isn’t looking out for you — they’re trying to make you dependent
on them. ….Apart from trying to cut you off your support system , they
make you begin to question your own sense of judgment and eventually
your sanity ….. A partner who Tries to indirectly scare , manipulate
and control you by telling you scary stories of unfortunate events that
has happened in the lives of people they have been in a relationship/
marriage with in the past and how they attacked /destroyed or dealt with
people who dare offend them is an abusive person who will eventually
become physically violent.

Please stop looking for hope in their
“small kindness” , that really is about them and not you especially when
they know they’re loosing you . This is a method used in order for you
to reaffirm the lies that you tell yourself ” oh he has a soft side ” .

Emotionally
bonding with an abuser is actually a strategy for survival for victims
of abuse and intimidation. Please people stop judging people who are
crying out for help . Stop it. Just stop it . Reach out … There is a
thin line between life and death . Let’s not loose people we love
because of the lack of self control and insecurity of another.