Father abandons wife, son in hospital, says, My wife, her mother must confess their sins before I can visit them

An Ibadan-based fashion designer, Mrs.
Kemi Balogun, thought she had freed herself from the clutches of her
alleged oppressive husband, Ahmed Balogun, a few years ago when she left
Lagos to resettle in Ibadan with a set of twins she had for him.

She alleged that her husband abandoned
her and the set of twins to die of starvation in Ikorodu area of Lagos
before she left and that her life had changed for the better in Ibadan.
But a life changing accident in the city has reversed all the gains of
the freedom she claimed to have achieved.

Forty-year-old Balogun’s life story has
been a mixture of delight, joy, sadness and now uncertainty, with her
husband playing a huge role in each of the stages.

On his part, the husband accused his
mother-in-law as the person behind the calamity that has befallen his
family, claiming that she has a role to play if he has to visit his wife
and son at the UCH.

As an apprentice in Lagos, Balogun met
her husband when her father was transferred to Ibadan and was left to
complete her apprenticeship while living with a relative. What seemed to
be the beginning of a a pleasant life laced with bright stars soon
began to show signs of doom.

She was living with her husband in Lagos
but claimed she was forced to leave for Ibadan after a disagreement
soon after she was delivered of a set of twins who are now more than 13
years old. She claimed that her husband treated her badly, sometimes
having to rely on crumbs from neighbours to feed herself and the twins
after being left to starve by him. She also claimed that her husband
refused to establish a trade for her.

Fate however smiled on her when she
relocated to Ibadan where her parents had been living after her father
was transferred from Lagos. With the help of her parents, she
established a fashion shop at NNPC area of Apata, Ibadan where her skill
won her numerous customers; among them are families who visit Nigeria
often from the United Kingdom and the US.

For a few years, she lived peacefully
and enrolled her children in a private school, shouldering all the
responsibilities all alone.

She said because of the love she has for
her husband, she was not tired of the union. Despite the challenges,
she was paying visits to her husband in Lagos during which she was
pregnant with her third child, David, who was born six years ago.
Despite the birth of the child, Balogun said her husband treated her
with disdain.

But her business in Ibadan experienced a
boom expected of a hard working small scale entrepreneur in spite of
the marital difficulties she experienced until the night of February 2,
2017 when she was involved in an accident with her son, David, on their
way home.

The driver of the commercial bus they
were travelling in claimed that the head lamp of the vehicle suddenly
went off and in an attempt to park and rectify the fault; the bus ran
into a ditch and caught fire.  Sitting behind him were David and her
mother who did not get required help quick enough to escape the fire.
They were badly burnt. David was mostly affected because he was the last
to be rescued from the burning vehicle.

The mother and child were taken to Lafia
Hospital near her shop at NNPC, where N21,000 was deposited before they
could be attended to. But that was where the misery, the pain and the
anguish being experienced by mother and child, began.

Through the help of Prophet Elijah
Ilesanmi, who founded Dominion Christian Ministry, where Balogun
worships, both were taken to the University College Hospital, Ibadan,
where they now lie in critical condition, allegedly abandoned by the
husband.

Speaking to our correspondent on the
telephone from her hospital bed, Balogun said, “Whenever I visited him
in Lagos with the children, he would not care for our feeding or cost of
transport back to Ibadan. I shoulder every responsibility for my
children. I initially left Lagos because of his attitude.

“In December 2016 and January 2017, I
visited him just to show that I still love him as I always did. On both
occasions, I was badly treated. He said my mother was the reason why he
did not want to see me. He alleged that she took me away from him but
that was not true. I left because of disagreement over how he treated me
and the children. He called me this year and told me to leave him
alone. He said he was aware that I had boyfriends and that I should go
and marry one of them.

“I was shocked because I thought I had
done enough to show him I am faithful and to win his love and sympathy
towards his children. I pay their school fees and struggle to give them
good life.

“If I were a promiscuous or wayward
woman, I would have left him a long time ago. When I was pregnant with
David, I was confident of telling him because I knew that he was the
only man I knew. Whenever he called, he would rain curses on me and the
children and would say unprintable things about. But I persevered
because I respect him as a husband. When my father died, he did not call
or come for his burial.”

When Balogun and her son arrived at the
UCH, her husband was needed to sign a document permitting the medical
staff at the hospital to remove badly burnt toes of David before other
treatments would be carried out. When her husband was call, it was
alleged that he did not answer the call and that when he was finally
contacted, he ignored the plea until the condition of his son, David,
worsened.

Prophet Ilesanmi, who took them to the
hospital volunteered to sign the paper but at that point, the doctors
had to amputate the leg beneath the knee because of the severity of the
damage, owing to the delay caused by the absence of the father to sign
the document.

But for daring to come to the aid of his
church members, Prophet Ilesanmi, alleged that he is being threatened
with court case and assassination from Balogun’s husband and relatives.

Narrating his involvement in the lives
of the family, Ilesanmi said he was moved to the edge and compelled to
act because David’s life was slipping away while his mother was equally
dying. He told our correspondent that he was aware of the disagreement
between her and her husband. According to him, each time he tried to
intervene in the matter, Ahmed Balogun would rain curses on him for
delving into their affair.

“I have known her for more than four
years as a child of God and someone who is struggling so hard to take
good care of her three children. The husband lives in Lagos and I am
aware that she visited him regularly since I have known her. I know that
she visited him in December 2016 and January 2017. I am also aware that
the husband has been battling her over her refusal to relocate to Lagos
with him.

“When I asked her why she is unwilling
to go, she said that each time her husband made a promise, he would not
fulfil it. She said he promised to rent a shop for her in Lagos but he
failed to do so. In one of her visits to Lagos, she said she came back
to Ibadan sick because the husband refused to take care of her.

“When she travelled in December and
January, she said she experienced disappointment again as her husband
did not change his attitude.

“She has a lot of customers and with the
present economic condition in Nigeria, she could be uncertain about
what going to Lagos would put through to mean to her life and her
children based on what she had experienced with her husband. According
to her, these are issues she has been battling with.”

Asked if his attempt to mediate between
the couple yielded a positive result,  Ilesanmi said he spoke to the
husband towards the end of 2016 about their relationship and how they
could make it work.

“From what I deduced, he works for a
church, King David Ministry, in Isolo, Lagos. What I noticed is that
they are still a couple but there were various misunderstandings between
them that require maturity and prayers to deal with.

“The husband was raining curses and
saying offensive words on the telephone to the wife. He said he would
like to meet me to discuss his life. I cannot say if there are other
issues causing ripples between the couple but the little I know revolves
around getting the best for the children and relocating to Lagos. The
wife’s fear is that with three children to cater for, there is no
structure in place for her in Lagos that can replace what she has
established in Ibadan over the years,” said Ilesanmi.

The church founder said the accident on
February 2, 2017, could have been avoided if Balogun had tarried a while
and accepted the offer of a lift from him.

“I persuaded her to wait so that I could
drop her somewhere on my way home but she said she was in a hurry and
left. Perhaps if she had delayed a bit, she would have escaped the
accident. Understandably, she had spent three days at the shop working
while the children stayed with a relative. That was why she was eager to
go home early,” he explained.

The clergyman added that when he arrived
at Lafia Hospital a day after the accident, he was certain that the
condition of mother and child was beyond what the hospital could handle.

“The hospital demanded for N200,000
after initial payment of N21,000 on the night they were admitted there,
but with what I witnessed, I knew the hospital had no capacity to treat
the victims. In fact, a mob of sympathisers had gathered to attack the
hospital staff because they were angry with the expression of apathy on
the part of the hospital management.

“The following morning, I took them to
UCH where the boy was immediately placed on oxygen. I entered the
hospital with N35,000 which was contributed by sympathisers outside
Lafia Hospital. The plan was to remove the badly affected right toes but
the father had to sign a document. Because he did not show up when
contacted, I had to sign the document but by then, it had affected other
parts of the leg, resulting in the amputation of the leg just below the
knee,” said Ilesanmi.

Our correspondent who visited the
hospital gathered that after the leg was amputated, the boy had gone
through another surgery to treat part of the body that was badly burnt.

Ilesanmi said doctors told him that more
surgeries are needed to repair the damaged parts because they have to
harvest flesh from healthy parts to beef up the burnt part of his body.
On the condition of the mother, Ilesanmi said she just survived a
serious crisis that threatened her life after suffering from infection.
He said so far, N5m had been spent and similar amount is still needed.

“The mother is still in serious
condition. Her tongue twisted at a point because of infection but
through the help of the hospital and our prayers, she had come out of
the crisis. She had also gone for two separate surgeries.

“So far, we have spent around N5m which has been coming from sources sympathetic to the plight of the mother and child.

“I have been told that we could spend
the same amount (N5m) to finally secure the lives of the two and give
them a reason to live again. I don’t know where I will get that amount
of money but I believe that God has a purpose for them and that is why
he has spared their lives for us.

“But surely, it’s a life changing
situation for both and it’s a big pity that the father has refused to
show up or express pity. If he had shown up early, we could have avoided
the boy’s leg amputation.

“I always appeal to him to calm down and
come to Ibadan for the sake of the wife and child but he refused till
date. There was a day he gave the telephone to some of his relatives who
also threatened to deal with me. Some of them said they would send
assassins after me but God is bigger than any assassin.

“I don’t know what I have done that is
wrong. I have abandoned everything including my own family to care for
these two. We are not asking him to pay money. I have the receipt of all
what we have spent to authenticate my claim but not because I want a
refund, after all, it’s not my money alone,” he added.

 My wife and her mother keep a secret –Husband

While justifying his decision not to
visit his wife and son at the hospital, David’s father says it is vital
for his mother-in-law and wife to confess to a secret that exists
between the three of them. He alleged that when two elders from his
church in Lagos visited them at the hospital this week, they were told
lies about the whole issue.

“Let my wife and her mother confess to
what is between us. They should tell the truth before I come and see
them in Ibadan. Before the accident happened, they did not call me. Now
that she was involved in an accident, they remembered to call me. When
my church elders visited them at the UCH, they lied to them and told
them bad things about me. I am ready for whatever they want to do to me.

“I also have relatives. I was paying my
children’s school fees until my father told me to stop in 2015 since
David’s mother no longer lives with me. I pass through Ibadan whenever I
am on business trips but I have no time to visit them. How can my
mother-in-law take away my wife and children from my house? None of my
children grew up in my house even though I was responsible for their
naming ceremonies expenses. Can any man accept that? I am not a wicked
father and husband. I was fulfilling my responsibility to them before. I
am a man and I know what I am doing. I am ready to go to court.

“I was staying abroad before I came home
in 2005 because of my wife and children. After she left, she was coming
to collect money from me regularly and I was giving her. That is what
happened. If they like, let them go to court. I can only come if the
eldest person in my family asks me to come. She is following men in
Ibadan and because of that, I will not take a decision on my own.

Asked if he knew Prophet Ilesanmi, Mr.
Balogun said he only knew Pastor Omoniyi a long time ago. When
confronted with the allegation that he threatened to sue Ilesanmi for
interfering in his family affair, he said he would like to sit with
Ilesanmi and iron things out before he could comment on the allegation
again.

I don’t know about any secret –mother-in-law

Meanwhile, Kemi Balogun’s mother,
Lawrence Sorinola, has accused her son-in-law of failing to fulfil his
responsibility as father and husband, stressing that she does not know
about any secret between her daughter, son-in-law and herself.

Sorinlola said her in-law has never
shown love towards his family and even refused to bring his family to
meet with his wife’s family or pay any bride price on her daughter. She
alleged that Mr. Balogun sent her daughter packing after a disagreement
many years ago and did not care to know where they are. She said his
allegation about a secret is a ploy to divert attention from his
attitude towards his son and wife.

Sorinlola said, “Kemi is my first child.
When she had a disagreement with her husband in Lagos over the care of
the family and the husband told her to go, she came to Ibadan. She got a
shop in Ibadan and started working. She was visiting him in Lagos
regularly and each time she visited, she would go with all the money she
had. When the money finished, she would return to Ibadan.

“They are still married. In December,
2016, she visited him with the children. The husband has never paid the
children’s school fees. On the day my daughter was brought to the UCH,
they called him but he did not answer them. When I called and explained
what happened to him, he just banged the telephone on me.

“He cursed everyone who dared to call
him ever since. When my daughter was pregnant and gave birth to a set of
twins, my late husband refused to let me go but I had to go and see
them. There was no marriage ceremony or formal marriage. I am praying
God to save my daughter and grandson.”