Nollywood actor, Ayo Badmus and his wife, Sumbo, share the secrets of the success of their union in this new interview with Spice. Enjoy!
How and when did you meet your wife?
Ayo: I met her at a friend’s shop in Abeokuta
Sumbo: We met about 11
years ago. He came to Abeokuta, with a friend of his. I went to buy
something at a friend’s shop but I never noticed him. Later, he
approached me and told me he liked me. We exchanged contacts and as time
went on, he proposed to me.
How long did you date for before he proposed to you?
Sumbo: It was not up to a year.
Did you know he was an actor?
Sumbo: Yes, I knew.
Does that mean you had always wanted to be married to an actor?
Sumbo: Not really. In
fact, I never knew we would get married. Actors are always in the news
and have women chase after them. Also, I was not really a fan of Yoruba
How did the relationship develop?
Ayo: I liked her so
much and we met regularly. I either visited Abeokuta or she came to
Lagos. Also, I took her with me to locations, so we could spend time
together and get to know each other better.
What was the initial attraction?
Ayo: The initial attraction was her beauty; I am attracted to beautiful things.
At what point did you decide to marry her?
Ayo: It did not take
long for me to decide. From the moment I saw her, I knew she would be my
wife but I had to go through the normal process of wooing her and
getting her to accept me and my proposal.
How did you propose to her?
Ayo: We went on a
random outing and while we stood beside each other, I asked her to marry
me. I expected her to show emotions of surprise or disbelief like some
ladies and probably say yes, but she did not do so.
Did you accept his proposal immediately?
Sumbo: No, I did not. A friend of his convinced me to accept his proposal.
Did your relations oppose your decision to get married?
Ayo: None of them opposed it. They trusted my judgment. They supported me as long as it was what I wanted.
Sumbo: My mother passed
away when I was 15 years old, so my father played the role of an
adviser to me. He called me one day and asked if I was sure I wanted to
marry the actor. When I said yes, he accepted my decision. They all
loved him from the moment I brought him home.
Was it easy adjusting to married life?
Ayo: No, it was not easy. But I had to do it anyway.
What were the initial challenges you encountered when you got married?
Ayo: They were normal
challenges. I was not always available, so she always called to find out
where I was, what I was doing at every point in time and when I would
be coming home. Sometimes, there could be a turn in events and the
result would be different from the things that I had told her
previously. That made her think I was an unserious person. It almost
made us part ways but we reached an agreement to work things out.
Sumbo: Those years were
quite challenging because I used to follow him to locations before we
got married.Not having him at home all the time was a bit tough.
How would you describe your marriage?
Ayo: It has been good and it keeps getting better.
Sumbo: I thank God for how far we have come. No family has a perfect marriage but we have been able to weather the storm.
What are some of the things your spouse does which you find upsetting?
Ayo: Initially, a lot
of things used to get me angry. She is now a changed person and no
longer upsets me. Sometimes, I feel as if I have been shut out and I ask
her if I overreacted to an issue or if she is angry and she tells me
the truth. She is respectful and gives me freedom.
Sumbo: My husband gets
angry because of food. If he wakes up in the morning and his breakfast
is not ready by 7:30am or 8am, he begins to grumble.
What would you like to change about her?
Ayo: I wish she was taller. She wears heels but still remains short.
Sumbo: I do not want to
change anything about him. He is a nice man and very loving too. He is
my friend and the kind of husband any woman would wish for.
How do you spend time with your family whenever you return from location?
Ayo: When I am with my
family, I drop everything about being an actor. I am myself, and I
become Ayo Badmus who is a husband and a father. I make sure there are
no airs or graces to me when I am at home, so I can spend quality time
with my family.
Has being a father affected the kind of roles you play in movies?
Ayo: No, it has not.
What would be your reaction if your husband cheats on you?
Sumbo: I know the man I married and I trust him. He tells me everything he does.
There have been talks about your husband being involved with different women?
Sumbo: I do not pay attention to them. I choose to turn a deaf ear each time I hear them. He tells me everything he does.
How do you assure your wife of your fidelity?
Ayo: When I go home, I tell her all that happened during the day. I am open and transparent. She knows everything I do
Do you sometimes disagree over finance?
Ayo: Initially when we got married, it was an issue. It was a bit difficult getting her preferences right.
She had to choose between buying shoes and
other important things at home. Now, we no longer have those disagreements. We discuss regularly and
we are able to reach an agreement on what is best for the family.
Do you operate a separate or joint bank account?
Ayo: We have separate bank accounts. I do not know her ATM PIN and or how much she has in her account.
What advice do you have for intending couples?
Ayo: They have to be sure of what they want and the man should be ready to take care of the lady. He should always
listen to the lady and be open to her. The lady should be honest to her
husband and she should not nag. Nagging makes men angry. They should
talk to the man respectfully as well.
Sumbo: They must be faithful to each other and know what they want before they decide to get married.
What pet names do you call each other?
Ayo: I do not have special pet names for her. I call her darling, sweetheart, sugar or Iya Awa over the phone and when I am in a good mood. But ordinarily, I call her by her name.
Sumbo: I call him AY.