You might not immediately recognize him but he was a popular face in Nollywood, some years back.
Now married to a South African and based there, the actor, Tuvi James and his consultant wife, in an interview with Punch, talk about their two-year-old marriage and what has sustained it so far.
The meet
Tuvi: We met at a Nigerian wedding in South Africa. I
was part of the groom’s train, and I also performed at the ceremony.
During rehearsals a day before the wedding, my wife and I were
officially introduced to each other. There was not enough time to talk
because she was involved in the wedding preparations. We only began to
speak at the wedding reception and that was when I realised I had met
the one for me.
Love at first sight?
Tuvi: We were drawn to each other almost
immediately, but we treaded softly because we needed to get to know each
other. This was because we had been hurt in past relationships. Also,
being nationals of different countries, we had to learn more about each
other. Our common denominator was God and from that point, we cultivated
a friendship. We have been married for two years.
Proposal
Namakau: The proposal was not a dramatic one. Long
before he proposed, we both knew we were not hanging with each other
just for the purpose of doing so; we knew we wanted each other for
keeps.
Tuvi: We dated for about two years. We began courting in 2011 and got married in 2013.
Before the meet
Tuvi: I was not dating any other lady. I was only focused on redefining myself and getting established in South Africa.
Qualities
Tuvi: Like me, she loves to worship God and I was
taken in by her voice. She is a strong person and I was attracted to her
never-say-die spirit. Iron sharpens iron.
Namakau: I was attracted to his non-negotiable love
for God, the way he made up his mind about us without delay and his
smile whenever he got shy.
Industry Marriage
Namakau: I did not plan to marry anyone in the
entertainment industry. I did not know who he was when we met. I was
just focused on my career and my ministry.
Family oppositions
Tuvi: No, there was no opposition. Our families were and still are very supportive and embracing of our different cultures.
Being Married
Namakau: I had to get used to the fact that I can no
longer take decisions on my own. Also, I had to ensure I always put him
first in my affairs; I constantly create a happy and loving environment
for him. Being married to him is akin to living with my best friend.
Marrying a non-Nigerian
Tuvi: The issue is not about being with a Nigerian
or any other nationality. It is about a God-ordained connection. My wife
and I had that connection even before we met.
Cultural differences
Namakau: Learning to cook Nigerian delicacies was a
bit of a challenge, but he is an amazing cook and a great teacher. Also,
learning each other’s nuances has been a challenge, but love is
everything. You have to make up your mind to work on the things that
need to be worked on.
Differences
Tuvi: I would like to change the anger and impatience she sometimes exhibits.
Namakau: I would like him to be patient and less
prone to anger. Having said that, I must add that no other man can
handle me the way my husband does.
Personal things
Tuvi & Namakau: Yes, we do access to each other’s phones.
Pastimes as a couple
Tuvi: We love to go to the movies, eat out or just share quiet moments together.
Joint bank account
Tuvi: We have separate accounts as well as a joint account, but we keep a tab on each other’s finances.
Common Hobbies
Tuvi: We love to listen to music and watch movies.
Namakau: I know our love for God might not be a hobby, but anything related to Him grabs our attention. We also love music and movies.
Secrets to a lasting union
Namakau: Transparency between the partners is
important. Both partners have to listen to and act on what the
significant other is communicating. They should not make a big deal out
of small stuff.
Staying Happy
Tuvi: I would neither blow my own trumpet nor claim
to know it all, but placing God first, having the Holy Spirit as our
counsellor and transparency has made our marriage successful.
Anger
Namakau: Forgetting to put the other person first could result in a quarrel.
Tuvi: We don’t quarrel for long because as soon as
we realise there is a problem, we talk about it. We never hold a grudge
till the following day.
Purgatory?
Tuvi: Marriage has been my saving grace. Life outside is empty and fictitious.
What could be the cause of some failed celebrity marriages?
Tuvi: The marriages could crash when they are not balanced or when the couples expose their private life to the public.
What advice would you give to spouses of celebrities?
Namakau: They should always remember who they are
married to and not the star the public has made out of them. Also, they
should seek God, pray and laugh together as well as love each other.
What pet names do you call each other?
Tuvi: I call her Baby
Namakau: I call him My love or Baby.”