We
women can be so full of ourselves A LOT of the times *insert rolling
eyes emotion* As in… we get so wrapped up in things we are going
through… or things we do or do not want (more money, heartbreak). Let’s
not forget how we feel about ALMOST EVERYTHING on earth… if it’s not our
once-a-month friend who’s always wearing that annoying red blazer, it’s
the latest makeup brand, that obvious pimple, our cracked phone screen,
expensive aso-ebi, chipped nails, colour blocking, Kim Kardashian and
her nude episodes *tueh*… and so on and so forth.
women can be so full of ourselves A LOT of the times *insert rolling
eyes emotion* As in… we get so wrapped up in things we are going
through… or things we do or do not want (more money, heartbreak). Let’s
not forget how we feel about ALMOST EVERYTHING on earth… if it’s not our
once-a-month friend who’s always wearing that annoying red blazer, it’s
the latest makeup brand, that obvious pimple, our cracked phone screen,
expensive aso-ebi, chipped nails, colour blocking, Kim Kardashian and
her nude episodes *tueh*… and so on and so forth.
Point in brief is, we forget
that the guys also go through stuff. We have made them into this
stone-walls that do not feel, yet the naked truth is, they experience
just about everything we do, depression, jealousy, emotional, financial
and societal pressure (to get married), you just name it! Their mode of
expression is generally different, but these things are certainly in
there somewhere, don’t be fooled.
that the guys also go through stuff. We have made them into this
stone-walls that do not feel, yet the naked truth is, they experience
just about everything we do, depression, jealousy, emotional, financial
and societal pressure (to get married), you just name it! Their mode of
expression is generally different, but these things are certainly in
there somewhere, don’t be fooled.
Let’s get to the meat of the gist…
I recently admitted that
(perhaps) guys also get desperate about marriage. Yup! Ladies aren’t the
only ones feeling the heat. I have been interacting a lot more with
guys in their 30 somethings… seeing as my own 30 is waving from a little
distance (Side Note: Can’t believe I just said that. Can someone please make me 12 again? LOL)…
(perhaps) guys also get desperate about marriage. Yup! Ladies aren’t the
only ones feeling the heat. I have been interacting a lot more with
guys in their 30 somethings… seeing as my own 30 is waving from a little
distance (Side Note: Can’t believe I just said that. Can someone please make me 12 again? LOL)…
Moving on, I realised, guys
are also very concerned about the the women they want to be/end up with.
These guys are also looking out for special qualities in the women they
are interacting with but I’ve met some who aren’t up-ing their games in
the ‘hunt’ for a life-mate. They want to catch exciting babes, but, the
big question is, are they making themselves exciting enough?
are also very concerned about the the women they want to be/end up with.
These guys are also looking out for special qualities in the women they
are interacting with but I’ve met some who aren’t up-ing their games in
the ‘hunt’ for a life-mate. They want to catch exciting babes, but, the
big question is, are they making themselves exciting enough?
So, I started wondering,
what would I want my guy (wherever he is) to be doing at this time
(especially if he’s also, hopefully, single and ready to boggie down).
Here’s what I’ve come up with.
what would I want my guy (wherever he is) to be doing at this time
(especially if he’s also, hopefully, single and ready to boggie down).
Here’s what I’ve come up with.
* ELIMINATE YOUR CONFUSION / DON’T DO BUFFET
You see, there are TOO MANY
CONFUSED GOOD GUYS out there. They want a serious relationship with the
kind of girl papa and mama will like and accept as daughter-in-law to
be, but they are yet to overcome that ‘buffet’ spirit controlling them.
They like Shalewa, want Chichi, are toasting Amina but busy leading
Valerie on, enjoying a faux relationship with Nosa and yet consider Nse
the ultimate wife material! Only yoooooou? Shooooooo…. Ok, so maybe it’s
not this bad for every guy but you get what I mean, right?
CONFUSED GOOD GUYS out there. They want a serious relationship with the
kind of girl papa and mama will like and accept as daughter-in-law to
be, but they are yet to overcome that ‘buffet’ spirit controlling them.
They like Shalewa, want Chichi, are toasting Amina but busy leading
Valerie on, enjoying a faux relationship with Nosa and yet consider Nse
the ultimate wife material! Only yoooooou? Shooooooo…. Ok, so maybe it’s
not this bad for every guy but you get what I mean, right?
Guys, please-biko-ejo, get
your es-esh-ee-tea together and stop confusing innocent ladies with your
own confusion. Decide who or what you want and stick to that! If for
any reason, there’s no future with that one, cut ties and move on. Don’t
try to eat your noodles and have it. Awoof dey run belle. A girl will
be ready to settle with you if she sees that you are equally focused.
your es-esh-ee-tea together and stop confusing innocent ladies with your
own confusion. Decide who or what you want and stick to that! If for
any reason, there’s no future with that one, cut ties and move on. Don’t
try to eat your noodles and have it. Awoof dey run belle. A girl will
be ready to settle with you if she sees that you are equally focused.
* KNOW THE COOLEST PLACES IN TOWN
This is that place you get
to score a lot of marks. One way you get get a girl interested in your
market is by being up to date on the coolest spots to hang out in town.
Do you homework buddy! Don’t take her to the cinemas, or any of those
obvious places, she’s most likely tired of visiting. Make her believe
dating you will be an adventure of a lifetime by ensuring you make a
bad-ass first impression. If you score good points the first time, you
are most likely to get a second date. Note: Be sure you avoid places
where things she doesn’t like go on. E.g Don’t take me somewhere people
smoke, date is automatically ruined with alarming effect!
to score a lot of marks. One way you get get a girl interested in your
market is by being up to date on the coolest spots to hang out in town.
Do you homework buddy! Don’t take her to the cinemas, or any of those
obvious places, she’s most likely tired of visiting. Make her believe
dating you will be an adventure of a lifetime by ensuring you make a
bad-ass first impression. If you score good points the first time, you
are most likely to get a second date. Note: Be sure you avoid places
where things she doesn’t like go on. E.g Don’t take me somewhere people
smoke, date is automatically ruined with alarming effect!
* KNOW A BIT ABOUT EVERYTHING
There’s no girl on Earth
that can resist an intelligent guy. Make yourself one by broadening your
horizon. Know about different things, from science, to business,
government, books, movies. Read fun facts, foreign news, maps, gossip
blogs, payment receipts and marykay manual (I’m kidding). When you know a
little about everything, you will be able to make interesting
conversation about anything and everything.
that can resist an intelligent guy. Make yourself one by broadening your
horizon. Know about different things, from science, to business,
government, books, movies. Read fun facts, foreign news, maps, gossip
blogs, payment receipts and marykay manual (I’m kidding). When you know a
little about everything, you will be able to make interesting
conversation about anything and everything.
* SAVE
Having ice cream and pizza
on a first date is OK, doesn’t have to be expensive to be a date but
then again, anything can happen. What if we find ourselves at Ocean
Basket? Point is, don’t be a stingy person. If you find a lady good
enough to spend precious time with, be willing to invest in making those
moments memorable. Who knows, she may go dutch but your options are
limited if you don’t want to spend. So work hard, save well (for the
date and for the marriage) and spend well (but wisely). All girls are
impressed by guys who spend!
on a first date is OK, doesn’t have to be expensive to be a date but
then again, anything can happen. What if we find ourselves at Ocean
Basket? Point is, don’t be a stingy person. If you find a lady good
enough to spend precious time with, be willing to invest in making those
moments memorable. Who knows, she may go dutch but your options are
limited if you don’t want to spend. So work hard, save well (for the
date and for the marriage) and spend well (but wisely). All girls are
impressed by guys who spend!
* PRAY
Bros… if you need me to tell
you how to go about this one, there is serious problem! So help you
God! Anyway… pray you aren’t wasting time with the wrong person. Pray
that the person you are spending time with can add value to your life,
whether you end up dating/married or not (no great guy should end up
with the wrong woman). Pray your search is successful and is concluded
with ease, in the shortest possible time. God is still the best
match-maker in town.
you how to go about this one, there is serious problem! So help you
God! Anyway… pray you aren’t wasting time with the wrong person. Pray
that the person you are spending time with can add value to your life,
whether you end up dating/married or not (no great guy should end up
with the wrong woman). Pray your search is successful and is concluded
with ease, in the shortest possible time. God is still the best
match-maker in town.
Did I leave anything out? Drop in the comments section. XoXo.
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Written by Mayowa Ogundele, blogger and TV presenter.