Lessons I Learned From My Wedding –

Written by Ella Adenaike

a new bride myself, I encountered some interesting and awkward
situations during the planning process and I’ve heard other brides talk
about their encounters. Though hardly discussed, here are a few of the
many things you might actually need to think about.

Choose Your Bridesmaids Carefully

You’ve probably heard that before, but have you thought about what would
happen if one (hopefully not all) of your bridesmaids annoys you before
your wedding day? We are girls and come on now, we are all guilty of
pretending to like that same girl you can’t stand! (God bless the
boyfriends and husbands who have to listen through our rants.) Trust me!
Your wedding is definitely not the time or place to pretend, especially
if we’re talking about people who would be standing next to you the
whole day! So choose those who are truly your friends and bear in mind
that true friends fight but they also make up.
Replicating the Girl Scouts
This is a very interesting and sensitive area. Considering the unlimited
options to choose from – including choices of aso ebi, gele,
bridesmaids dress, hairstyle, shoes even, etc – brides surely have a
plethora of channels to flap their Bridezilla wings (note the use of
‘their’ as I’m sure I wasn’t a Bridezilla… or so I think).
This happens to be an area that impacts a
part of me that I’m very particular about – my look!!! Before being a
bride, I was a bridesmaid. I hated when the bride chose that awful
looking dress just because ‘bridesmaids can’t outshine the bride’. Or
when the bride, in the spirit of making the bridesmaids look alike,
required that the bridesmaids rock the same hairstyle, despite different
tastes and head shapes. Don’t get me wrong. I, just like most brides,
definitely had a vision for my wedding. This vision required some
coordination and veto power to sanction or prohibit some styles (I still
maintain I wasn’t a Bridezilla!).
However, I made sure not to have rules
like we were still in high school. I love fashion and love to express
myself through my look. In the same vein, I have no interest in
squashing the personal styles of my beloved bridesmaids. As they say;
one good turn deserves another. So my philosophy was something along
these lines – it’s the bride’s day but the bridesmaids’ body so let’s
work together.
The Bridal Shower
Few months before my wedding, someone asked if I would be having a
bridal shower, and my answer was: “well I wouldn’t know but I’ll know if
I have friends by the wedding day”. That was obviously a joke but my
point is that bridal showers are usually planned as surprises. So here’s
a dilemma just like the ‘getting the perfect engagement ring’ dilemma.
It’s supposed to be a surprise so you can’t participate in the planning
process and that just might be problematic (I promise I’m not a drama
queen). So how do your friends and family know what you want for the
shower? How do they know that you want your guests to be in rainbow
colors with a hint of mint green versus all white, etc? How do they know
that you want a ‘bride-to-be’ sash versus a crown, to go with your
attire? My advice: start telling them your ideal scenario once you get
engaged. The shower is indeed a kind gesture on the part of your friends
and family but it doesn’t hurt to politely inform them of your ‘ideal’
shower party. But be sure to call it ideal so it’s clear you’re not
demanding. Also, please ensure you’re talking to those for whom you
would reciprocate the love.
Let me tell you a quick story. I got
engaged about 2 years before my wedding day and we started planning
right after we got engaged. We decided on the total number of guests we
would invite in order to achieve our goal for the wedding. Remember I
said 2 years? So 2 years before the wedding, we knew X amount of people
and chose the total number of guests based on that. Fast forward to the
year of the wedding, our friends and acquaintances grew to X+Y (…and I
thought I would never need algebra again). So where did that leave us?
Lesson Z: if you have a maximum number of guests you can invite,
endeavor to leave some buffer. If not, have your speech ready for that
awkward moment when someone you weren’t planning to invite reminds you
they haven’t received an invitation to your wedding (weird!).
I know this is by no chance an
exhaustive outline of things to think about as a bride-to-be. So go on,
scroll down and share your great, funny or even awkward epiphanies as a
bride-to-be, bridesmaid, wedding guest, (invited or uninvited). No
matter what your wedding planning drama ends up like, just do the best
you can, surround yourself with the right people and try to relax. It
always ends up coming together for good on your big day. It did for me –
can’t you tell?

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