” I need to earn £3000 for my British visa… I am still a Commonwealth citizen?” – Lagbaja responds to Okey Ndibe On “Mumudom”

Months ago, a certain Okey Ndibe published an article on Nigerians and their “mumu” style – in relation to Lagbaja’s hit song “Mumudom” HERE. Well, Lagbaja responded hours ago via a post too, and honestly, I couldn’t agree less with his submission, enjoy:


By Lágbájá

Dear Okey Ndibe: Thank you for sounding the alarm in a way that
should make us reflect deeper. Mumu is not a condition I proudly
proclaim. It was with a heavy heart that I came to this shocking
realization that we are indeed a country of mumus. Harsh as it might
sound, no other explanation would suffice. It is apparent that the
“leaders” know that they would always get away with whatever incredible
schemes they concoct because, amongst other reasons,

(a) the mumu people they “lead” are no different from their mumu “leaders” in character

(b) the mumu people are gullible, superstitious and naive

(c) there are no consequences for criminal acts if you belong to the right group

(d) these mumus never demand accountability from their “leaders”

(e) the mumus expect their rulers to loot or would otherwise consider them foolish

Apologies for the seeming overgeneralization but the vast majority runs with this mumu mindset.

There is a limit to how much one can squeeze into a song before
sounding less music than sermon. Please permit me to expatiate using
your perimeter of “recent events in the past week or two”.

For simplicity I would use a numbered list to analyze and highlight
a few seemingly disparate but absurd mumurity examples and indicators.

1. 5 members trying to impeach a governor would make you think there
are probably only 6 or 7 members of the House of Assembly. According to
the assembly’s website there are 31 members. For mumus, 5 out 31
constitutes a majority.

2. In the land of mumus you can make your own mace and confer it with
automatic authority, elect a “new Speaker” and swear him in.

3. No single hospital in Nigeria to entrust the unfortunately injured member with. He had to be flown to the UK.

Okey Ndibe

4. Flown abroad … likely on tax payers’ account

5. Treated … likely on tax payers’ account

6. Visited by officials… likely on tax payers’ account (business or first class tickets?)

7. Nyesom Wike the Minister of State who led the visit was until
recently the Governor’s (Amaechi’s) Chief of Staff. He was allegedly
nominated for the Ministerial position by Governor Amaechi.

8. Shouldn’t the mumus wonder how Nyesom Wike as Minister of State
for Education found the time for this all important trip while
abandoning his post in spite of the raging crisis in his ministry with
the Academic staff union of Nigerian universities currently on strike?
Well the mumu staff and students can rot in hell I guess.

9. Madam Patience would probably have “visited” too, if not for the
noise such would generate. So for now, the victim suffers alone.

10. The erstwhile pontificating police boss of the State could not find the patient’s prominent attacker for over a week.

11. Madam Patience having first denied any involvement in the crisis
while verbally attacking Soyinka, eventually owns up “pouring out her

12. She owns up to a group of visiting Bishops who came on a peace
making mission to find a lasting solution to the crisis in their region.
Religion is always an easy scapegoat and tool of deception in mumudom.

13. Why would you even think that the Bishops would go back empty
handed? Any “transport fare/thank-you-for-coming”, if received, would
have likely been financed on tax payers’ account.

14. And why are we ranting about “tax payers”? Why are the tax payers
not furious over the incessant misappropriation and misapplication of
their hard earned contributions? The answer lies in the question…
Aside from PAYE, how many are compliant in mumudom?

15. First a set of 5 Governors and 3 Deputy Governors (representing
their respective Governors), left their duty posts for a solidarity
visit with the embattled Governor of Rivers State… of course to the
detriment of tax payers. (a) They were not on leave, but left urgent
work and duties behind for the “emergency” solidarity visit. (b) Flight
to and fro Port Harcourt of course likely on tax payers’ account.

16. They were closely followed by a second set of 4 commiserating
sympathetic Governors. Of course, again likely on tax payers’ account.

17. Madam Patience’s grievance, as she divulged to the visiting
Bishops, started when Governor Amaechi refused to be governed by her, as
he would not listen to her veiled orders on how to govern the State…
which incidentally is her primary territory being her State of origin.
Mumus have no problem with that, fully being in harmony with her as she
sings as first lady in Abuja while simultaneously dancing in absentia as
Permanent Secretary in Bayelsa and conducting the orchestra in home
state, Rivers.

18. Madam ends her confession to the Bishops by saying that Amaechi
is her son as she is obviously the mother of everyone in mumudom. The
question all mumus should ask is, “Would a good mother promote the
demise of her child?”

19. Where was her outraged sense of motherhood when Senators were
busy voting to turn mumudom into a Nation of pedophiliacs at the expense
of her innocent “daughters”?

20. Where was her outraged sense of “mother of the Nation” when the
video of 5 gang rapists went viral. Has she used that “mother of the
Nation” power to find the culprits? Not a priority in mumudom.

21. Where was her outraged “motherhood of mumudom” when 46 school
children were murdered in Yobe? Indeed the whole Nation of mumus have
just gone on with their more important mumu lives like nothing happened.

22. Which brings us to the insane mumurity that gives the “leaders”
confidence to try pranks such as the attempt at crafting the under age
marriage law, knowing that with the mumus… “nothing go happen”

23. In the land of mumus, the rulers know they can always throw in
the religious card, so Senator Yerima leads the child slavery onslaught
with the religious chant.

24. While all this was going on, 79 year old OPC founder, Dr. Fasheun
was, in his own description, “delivering” Mustapha to Kano.

25. Soon after, Gumsu Sani Abacha had the courage to rant on social
media about her proud heritage… because with the mumus who his father
savagely ruled over… nothing go happen.

26. Gumsu even called Soyinka who was a victim of her beloved dad’s
misrule, “Mad empty Professor” … because in mumudom, “nothing go

27. Final scores… Jang 13, Amaechi 19, but in the land of mumus
Mathematics has a different interpretation for 13 is greater than 19.
Even the President of the mumus ratifies that.

28. By the way, both Governors Jang and Amaechi are from the same imploding political party.

29. Jang says he is old enough to be Amaechi’s father… a common
escape route that is often quickly bought by the mumu populace. Old
enough to be the President’s pawn and to upturn justice might be more
like it. Only possible when you know for sure that your people are
mumus… Nothing go happen.

30. The Governor is supposed to be the chief security officer of his
State, but apparently in mumudom, his Police Commissioner is his boss.

31. The Governor’s security staff could be so easily withdrawn
because nothing is institutionalized in a Nation of mumus. The loyalty
of the security personnel is not based on the constitution but on
personal or maternal affiliations. The mumus keep watching because “it
does not concern me o”… “Big men and women are fighting”. Same way the
injustice of the Nation’s attorney general’s assassination does not
concern them.

32. Most reports in the Nigerian media kept referring to the self
appointed Speaker as if he were truly the substantive Speaker. A mere
use of “self-acclaimed” would have been logical, but they were already
calling him the Speaker because… ignorance? inducement? resignation to
the belief that the 5 vs 26 Assembly coup was already a done deal?

33. While all this drama unfolded, Nigeria, like the proverbial
head-burying ostrich felt it had the moral right to insist on democratic
processes in Egypt.

34. Sahara Reporters had screamed about the underhand conspiracy to
proclaim Mustapha “not guilty”. Mumus simply went about their daily
mumurity unperturbed because “it doesn’t concern them”. And when it
happened as predicted… no problem. Mumus continue dem jolly as if
nothing happened.

35. Meanwhile, Daniel and his political supporters carried their
politics into the house of God at Rueben Abati’s mother’s funeral
service… simply because there is no true reverence for God. Religion
is a safe hiding cave. The mumus in the congregation would never protest
such sacrilege because… “it is not strange” as the houses of God are
now also political grounds. Obasanjo built one in Abeokuta. Jonathan got
one built in Otuoke.

36. Meanwhile, some other mumus were again busy putting the Nation to
international shame. In unprecedented match fixing fiascos, Police
Machine beat Bubayaro 67-0 while Plateau United Feeders beat Akurba FC
79-0. Just in case you are confused, the game was soccer, not

37. The matches were to determine which one of the two tied teams
would be promoted into… wait for this… just the 3rd division of the
Nigerian soccer league. How many goals would they have to orchestrate
when they want promotion to the 1st division?

38. Interesting to note that one of the teams involved in these shows
of shame, the Police Machine, represents the Police Force. Now who
would investigate this scandal?

39. Mumus involved in the conspiracy had to include players… team
management… referees and other match officials… spectators??? That
is quite a large mumu cooperative.

40. Since four teams were involved, multiply the number of
conspirators by 4 (except match officials and spectators which should be
multiplied by “only” 2). Hence, the scam was done in the open. It was a
confident public show of shame. No… two confident simultaneous scams.
No problem as corruption is everywhere.

41. Before the matches, Police Machine and Plateau United were level
on points, goal difference and goals scored, and each was playing its
final match which would determine which team would get elevated into the
3rd division league. Plateau United scored 72 of its 79 goals in the
second half, thereby averaging more than one goal per minute. This would
necessarily include the time needed to celebrate each goal, retrieve
the ball, bring it back to the center, wait for the referee’s whistle
before kicking off again…. after each goal. 72 times. Or did they just
write the preferred figures as we typically do on election day?

42. Is it not curious that neither of the two losing teams could
manage a single consolation goal? What else are we if not mumus?

43. Then there was the innocent man who was freed by the high court
in Owerri after having been unjustly incarcerated for seven years,
“awaiting trial”. No compensation… nobody held accountable for his
ordeal. He insisted on being taken back to the prison as that was his
only guaranty of a roof over his head and a daily meal. It was merely a
“small thing” in the daily bizarre news as mumus went about their daily
mumurity with their typical mentality of “e no concern me”.

44. Remember that this is mostly a snippet of the past two weeks or
so. But there is more… 20 year old Chijioke Nwankor allegedly rapes a 9
year old pupil to death in Calabar. Reportedly in his own words, he
asked her to bend down in the uncompleted building because it was too
dirty to lie down as the place was being used as a public toilet. That
is mumudom parlance for faeces shamelessly defecated all over the
ground. Could the defecation be by aliens from outer space?

45. Well… thankfully, there is always a little ray of sunlight
sneaking through the dark jungle. A Briton who was kidnapped by an armed
gang shortly after arrival in Lagos, has been released.

…All in just the past two weeks or so in mumudom.

Excuse me, I have to return to work. I need to earn £3000 for my
British visa. Wait a minute, did I tell you I am still a Commonwealth


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