God has a sense of humor. When I wrote 5 Reasons Why Many Christian Girls Remain Single,
I never meant to follow it up with the same topic directed at men. But
God had other ideas! Two days ago, I decided not to listen to music as I
normally do in the morning but turned the radio on, hoping to hear a
What I heard as I scanned for the right channel was a reading
from the expositor study bible from Son life radio station here in Baton
The couple on the radio was reading from Genesis 24 – the story of
how Eliezer (Abraham’s servant) took a wife for Isaac. That particular
morning, the story gripped me in a way that I had hitherto experienced. I
quickly jotted down what the message spoke to me and headed out to
work. Later that day, I read the story of Eliezer again. This time, the
reasons why many Christian men remain single became unequivocally clear.
He is Not Listening to God’s direction
When Abraham spoke to Eliezer, he specifically directed him to go
back to his (Abraham’s) land and family to take a wife for Isaac.
Without godly direction, many men simply guess at where they should go
to take a wife. They travel here and there, chatting up wrong women
after wrong women. By the time they actually get to the place God wants
them, the stories of their travels have already reached the land. The
women of the land are no longer interested because they do not feel
special…they feel like common currency instead of a pearl of great
prize. They think, I am one of many he could love, not the one that he
loves. Moreover, the man starts to look desperate to them as they start
to wonder why the other women did not pick the man up. Nothing puts off a woman more than a desperate man.
But guys who move with godly direction do not become unequally yoked
with those from strange lands. They do not have to chase after another
man’s future wife! Instead they set their course to the land of God and
to the house of God, which is now their house by birthright. Guys, that
is the only place where we find the sister that the Lord has planned
He is Not Prepared to Meet His Mate
When Eliezer left, he left with all his master’s goods…which he put
on his camels. When we leave to find our beloved, we must not go
empty-handed but must leave with the goods of God. We must carry with us
the love of God and the gift of the Spirit of God. We must be ready to be a blessing to her instead of going empty-handed, having to ask for and live off some of her stuff.
Men, it is extremely difficult for a woman to respect a man who is not
ready – who is not ready to be leader, provider, spiritual leader, and
godly man that he has been called to become. When we go to find our
wives, we must pack our bags of goodies and go. If we have nothing to
put in the goody bag, it is not quite our time…we still have some work
He Has Not Positioned Himself in the Right Spot
When Eliezer got to his destination with his goods in hand, he
positioned himself in a spot by the well where he could see the women of
the land. It is tragic to think that many godly guys – who are
following the will of God and have readied themselves for marriage miss
out because they do not purposefully hand around godly women. They
expect God to drop a wife on their lap without looking. I wonder if
Eliezer would have met Rebekah if he had not purposefully positioned
himself to be able to observe the women.
Just as Eliezer did, we have to position yourselves in the right spot and then pray to God to show us which woman he desires for us.
Too many good men leave too many good women single because they simply
will not position themselves in the right spot. Then both the men and
women say ‘there is no good man or women around, they are all taken! No,
they are not all taken…they are simply in the wrong spot!
He Beats About the Bush
When Eliezer saw Rebekah, he did not hang around or beat about the
bush, but the bible tells us that he ran to her. Men, we cannot become
shy and coy when we see an all round desirable godly woman. She will not
be at the well forever! She has other things to do and a purpose to
fulfill. If you are Mr. Snail, then you may find that she is gone or disinterested by the time you sum up the courage to go to her.
This reminds me of the man who had been waiting to get into the pool
of Bethesda for 38 years, who Jesus asked if he wanted to be made well.
Instead of just saying yes, the first words that came out of his mouth
were excuses! He was going to miss the opportunity to get well because
he had pinned his hope on the waters!
Similarly, you cannot pin your hopes on the lady you so desire
noticing you per chance as you beat about the bush. If you are going to
pursue her, then pursue her!
He Never Made His Intentions Clearly Known
When Eliezer caught up to Rebekah and she had watered his camels, he
made it known to her the intention of his actions and his visit. Alas,
after positioning and pursuing, too many men miss out on destiny because
they end up in the friendship zone! After getting the woman’s initial
attention, they do not fess up to their hearts intentions out of fear of
being rejected. So they end up being the best friends of these
women…doing all kind of things for them…and then watch as other men
swoop. Sadly, the woman who once saw you as husband potential starts to
think you are not interested and starts to see you as a friend. Men, we
have to tell her our intentions. The worst thing that can happen is that
she is does not go with you. If she is not interested, it is not rejection, it is simply re-direction. So tell her what you intentions her! She will respect you even if she does not care to follow you!
Culled from SuperChamps