It appears that what an adult sees sitting down, a child would not see, even standing up. Most Nigerian parents seem to forget that they play a very key role in the contribution of the success of their daughter’s marriage
A U.S based Nigerian lady has taken to Twitter to narrates how her father saved her from an abusive marriage
It happened that during the wedding preparation, (yea, even at that level already), the father noticed the the young man had violence issues as they had a “minor” dispute with her then fiance over the wedding venue
They split up on her father’s advice, eventhough it was very hurtful for her at the time, the man got married to someone else, and got locked up in prison for battering his wife
Read the story of how she could have been a Domestic Violence victim;
“At 24,Mr A wanted to marry me,I was excited about it and was eager to take him home.This relationship wasn’t consummated cos I was/is a typical keep your equipment to yourself kinda girl.I snuck out of school to visit him numerous times until it was time for him to meet my parent
My mum liked him immediately mostly cos he was a doppelgänger of my late elder brother. she gave her blessings but it immediately went south upon realizing that he is a Pastor’s son, a general overseer’s son and we are Catholics. My parents are knight of the church .
He refused to wed me in my church and my mum refused I wed outside Catholic Church. Oh my father never said a word. He is annoyingly very calm in times a chaos, he was just smiling at me and my rants.
Everything was called off and I really didnt like my mum at that point, I felt robbed but my father told me something that eventually saved my life. I went to my dad and this man made me narrate the whole story to him. My father is very wise and intelligent.
My dad told me to date Mr A for one more year and after that he will tell me what to do to change my mother’s heart.I asked if he was suggesting I get pregnant and he said”I didn’t say that cos if you get pregnant,you will have the baby in my house and u will still not marry him”
Two months later, Mr A called me that he was getting married to another girl that his daddy arranged for him. I was broken and sad, I called my mum and was ranting on how she ruined my life and made Mr A marry another girl. My dad once again didn’t say a word.
I called my dad and told him then he said, “I knew you guys had no business getting married if something as common as venue of the wedding was an insurmountable problem, I just needed you to see it for yourself”
My dad’s statement woke me up from slumber and something clicked. I wiped my tears immediately and said thank u daddy. He started hailing me with his usual Ada obodo oyibo’m and Ada kpokee nkee kpokee nkee ( I don’t know what that last one means but he calls me that)
I remembered this story cos my dad asked about Mr A today. I told him that his father in law locked him up for beating his daughter and my dad nearly died of laughter.
End of thread. Moral lesson, what an elder sees sitting down, a young person may not see standing on top the tallest iroko tree. There is wisdom in the words of our parents. (NB: If you grew up in an abusive home then this thread is not for you)”