‘Quit seeking validation, even if the world can’t reason with you,’ Olori Naomi berates women as she mourns Osinachi Nwachukwu
The estranged wife of Ooni of Ife Olori Naomi Silekunola has admonished women as she pens down a heartwarming tribute to late singer Osinachi Nwachukwu.
In the post shared on her Instagram page, Olori Naomi said women should understand that they have the right to say no, get tired of an abusive marriage, cry for help and learn to say no even if the world can’t reason with them.
Olori Naomi also said women should avoid seeking public validation and learn to accept that a marriage will not work if it won’t work.
She wrote: Woman, thou art loosed! (Luke 13:12)
You have a right to say no.
It is your right to be tired.
You can put your hands in the air,
Cry for help if you have to;
Say no even if the world can’t reason with you.
Because, in the grave they still will not.
Don’t wait until death comes,
In anticipation of a pity party.
Death is the end of hope.
Are you hoping he would come to love you and respect you,
stop mentally, emotionally and physically abusing you?
If you die, that’s where hope ends.
Call for help, nobody is a saint .
We are all work in progress.
Are you a perfectionist and you want the world to keep seeing the perfect side of you?
Stop playing God.
Let God be God and man be man.
Accept that it can’t work, if it won’t work .
We always know it when it can’t.
Finally, quit seeking validation.
May the soul of the departed rest in peace
Her song ministered to me alot of times and even now i say Ekueme!!!!!!!
Rest my lady rest!
Kemi Filani recalls that Osinachi, a leading chorister with Dunamis Church, died on Friday after being badly injured by her husband.
Reacting, Deborah, described the death of Osinachi as a painful exit and also disclosed how the church was unaware of the late singer’s abuse, the steps the church is now taking to care for the kids she left behind and other women in abusive marriages.
The press statement reads in part:
“She inspired me to chase after God …i truly wish I had known her better, I wish i could have done more for her, I wish I had been aware of all the pain she experienced. There is so much to be said yet so much discretion is needed.
I am however not one who knows how to stay mute on issues that potentially affect me and those around me. …that being said in order not to be misconstrued, I will keep my opinions brief, the deceased was very isolated from loved ones, much of what happened oculd have been avoided if she hadn’t been marooned from the ones who cared for her most. ..she not only died due to the compendum of physical hurt and pain but also of a broken heart.
It will be ensured the offending party doesn’t go scot free and punished to the fullest extent of the law. There will be many measures taken to also protect the children and her family as well.
Please don’t be a by stander, actively defend the helpless. Toxic relationships are difficult to come out of one’s own. Our legal system may have failed us but we have our own support….please seek out help if you need to. Don’t let the enemy win. Please speak up. Anyone currently in need of support, please do not be afraid to reach out , here are some numbers you can contact. Dunamis helpline 08033144509
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OREDUGBA OLUYEMISI
April 12, 2022 at 1:31 pm
I think its time that youths from particular tribes in Nigeria (both north and south) should kick against exorbitant BRIDE PRICES!!! The man sees his wife as a property and she dare not talk. After the demise of the man, the family sees the wife as an outcast who has no say and may be accused of killing the man. Girls of these tribes even feel inferior to boys while young!
Isana
April 12, 2022 at 1:51 pm
The truth is that our society has continued to encourage abuse and neglect by some husbands who increasingly display Narcissistic patterns in their homes. Our laws remain grossly deficient in holding them accountable to support women and children they co-create or punish their abuse in a way to deter others.
The church is now claiming no one knew but we know this cannot be true. The truth is that we have ‘Rouge Shepherds’ and ‘false brethren’ in the house of God who enable abuse by their words and actions (or inaction)
If we preach on the altar that wives must submit to husbands who do not love, protect or provide for them, are we not guilty of enabling abuse? What of those who peddle messages berating women who speak up about their trauma, mock /gossip them for speaking up, call them attention seekers and peddle evil advice that women should “suck it up” and learn to ‘manage’ their abusive marriages to maintain dignity and appearances that all is well in the family and church? We invariably co-create marriages/homes that are whited sepulchers, filled with death and stench, yet somehow looking squeaky clean.
If you look long enough, you will see that sister whose smile is painfully subdued. She has become a shadow of herself, manipulated into piping down her dreams, passions, and expectations in life in order to boost the ego of a fragile, mediocre husband. She was love bombed to entrap her, then devalued, gaslighted, stonewalled, triangulated and trauma bonded to the extent that she is living below the veil of unconsciousness, echoing the will of her Narcissistic partner, denying her own reality, second guessing herself that she is in danger, seeking external validation and somehow believing her abuser will change any day if she faithfully continues to do her best. Take a second look and you will see the abusive husband: ever charming, gentle, generous and such a dashing “nice guy” to everyone but his wife. It is all stage managed to ‘fix’ a false image totally different from who he actually is in his home, so that no one believes the wife and agrees with him that she is the crazy one. Many women have been coerced into silence to fit in, avoid redicule and stigma of divorce, which is placed heavily on the women and children, then we then turn round and claim the society and church did not know there was abuse. What a fraud!
If you pastor a church where the abused cannot speak up or seek help, it means that somehow by words, actions & handling of other people’s case, the church environment and culture fosters intimidation or humiliation of the weak while enabling abusers to thrive and even promote them to lime light. You will be surprised to know how many Church leaders are presiding over dysfunctional homes and their wives are just tagging along to maintain appearances. Providing a single emergency number to call in crises is grossly inadequate and will not save any face for any church. You are building massive edifices & branch networks for self adulation while the weak in your care, the very body of Christ, are being trampled upon. What a disgrace! Will God be appeased by your edifices & numbers for the loss of one soul? We shall see how long this wickedness going on in many marriages will continue to be enabled by the church without judgment.
MOB
April 17, 2022 at 12:25 pm
The society has not given women the oppurtunity to iwn uo and express themsekves where they are abused. stigmatization of being out of marrage and cooping ofterwards is another issue thus we stayed until death do us part leaving the children that we claimed we stayed because of them. it is high time we begin to train our boy child to know how to cater for the opposite sex to avoid disarray society as this abuse starts from young age. i will stop here for now
Anonymous
April 13, 2022 at 3:50 pm
You said it all