Below is a post by relationship expert, Joro Olumofin on the issue of side chicks which is fast becoming a norm in our society these days.
This Journal encompasses 5 major components.
Definition of a Sidechick
Types of Sidechicks
Origin of a Sidechicks
Can a wife be a Sidechick?
How do you eliminate SC
Definition of a SC : A SideChick is Any lady who is having a love affair or sexual relations with a man who is committed to another lady by Law or Love.
Types of SideChicks :
1) Accidental Sidechicks
2) Intentional SideChicks
1) Accidental Sidechicks : These are naive , sometimes innocent ladies who fall victim or prey to the charms of a married man or a man who is in a serious relationship with someone else. These ladies are not aware that these men are committed by love or law to another women. They devote years of their lives to those men, they love, cherish, cook, invest his business so that he can ultimately marry them but they don’t know they are dating a “ghost”. Most Accidental Sidechicks usually turn into Intentional sidechicks because most times when the truth gets out that the man who they have dedicated their time to is married. They are too emotionally attached to leg go, they console themselves by saying when I met him I didn’t know he had a wife or fiancé.
2) Intentional Sidechicks: These are ladies who because of financial hardships, loneliness, “No boyfriend syndrome”, unhappiness in their own relationships, laziness etc go into relationships with a man who is committed by law or love to someone else. These ladies are a problem, they treat this man as their first born child ; control him, give him orders/ chores, manage his businesses, promise him everything his wife can not provide. For example: ” your wife is giving you only daughters, let me give you a son, your wife doesn’t allow you do anal sex, try it with me, ” let’s do a party with my friend”. These ladies are true Psychologists, they take the deepest needs of a man and use it to control him hence distancing him from his family, responsibility and children.
Origin of Sidechicks: Sidechicks Originate from so many factors, there isn’t one factor we can pin point. But as Africans I would like to talk about 3 points
1) Generational Sidechicks
2) Bad Economy
3) Low self esteem
1) Generational Sidechicks: This has to do with the Cognition, the mental archetypes of some young ladies and what they saw their parents do. A lot of ladies saw their mothers, aunties and guardians assume the role of INTENTIONAL SIDECHICKS without consequences. Some people even credit their success to being a Sidechick. I received an Email in 2016 where this lady stated that ” Yes I am a Sidechick/ Mistress, my mother was a Sidechick and 2nd wife and she Is happy, I never lacked anything so what’s wrong with me being a Sidechick too??” She was crucified in the comment section but to her that is normalcy, it is a norm, she doesn’t see anything wrong with it. She will pass the same values to her children as well. She sees nothing wrong in herself or her daughter taking someone else’s husband.
2) Bad Economy : Most youth corpers, unemployed ladies, private school and public school university students fall victim to the Bad Economy. The only power a man has over a lady who doesn’t have finances is MONEY . Men use that power and the promise of a better life to lure ladies into their nest or den. And once you’re in ,it’s hard to get out because emotions, pregnancy may tie a lady down .
3) Low Self Esteem: The major reason for Sidechicks around the world is low self esteem. Any lady who really knows her worth won’t subject herself to being number 2 or have a sex for money relationship.
I was a guest on a TV show once and the topic was can a wife be a Sidechick?
Yes, I totally agree. A wife or a girlfriend can assume the role of a Sidechick when the man is now emotionally committed to the original Sidechick. You find the wife being ” the day after lady” , she’s not aware of or can’t control her husbands movements or plans. She is now a relic, an old furniture in her own marriage.
A lady once sent a mail to my blog and said. I want to know if I’m still married ? I feel like a Sidechick, I don’t know my husbands where abouts or movements”
How do you eliminate Sidechicks ?
I’m sorry to disappoint you Ladies, Wives, Girlfriends, you can not eliminate Sidechicks. They are like extraneous variables in Psychology, very stubborn and unpredictable. But you can control them and be one step ahead. Be vigilant in your marriage, relationship. Try your best to be the best. Be prayful. Very key.
And most importantly have your own finances. The reason why a lot of women , ladies are stuck in detrimental relationships is that they don’t have the ” vex money” to leave the marriage or relationship. When a man knows you can’t leave, he will do and undo because he knows when he wakes in the morning you’ll still be there.