There is a popular Nigerian saying that one should not wash his dirty linen in public.
However, with the advent of social
media, it seems celebrities have thrown caution to the wind as they are
quick to feed the public with details of their marital problems via
their social media accounts.
media, it seems celebrities have thrown caution to the wind as they are
quick to feed the public with details of their marital problems via
their social media accounts.
But experts say when two elephants fight, the grass suffers – in this case the ‘grass’ being their children.
Saturday Beats focuses on some
entertainers who have chosen the social media space as their battle
grounds. They are the bases on which experts have lent their voices on
the impact their actions have on their children.
entertainers who have chosen the social media space as their battle
grounds. They are the bases on which experts have lent their voices on
the impact their actions have on their children.
About two days ago, Nigerians were
surprised when the wife of a popular comedian, AY, posted a picture on
her Instagram page, warning a pregnant lady, Freda Francis, who had once
been romantically linked with singer, Iyanya, to leave her family
alone. This came some hours after pictures surfaced online that the
humour merchant attended Francis’ baby shower party on Sunday just like
some other celebrities did.
surprised when the wife of a popular comedian, AY, posted a picture on
her Instagram page, warning a pregnant lady, Freda Francis, who had once
been romantically linked with singer, Iyanya, to leave her family
alone. This came some hours after pictures surfaced online that the
humour merchant attended Francis’ baby shower party on Sunday just like
some other celebrities did.
Accompanied with her post, the mother of
one also released some private chats believed to be between the
comedian and the pregnant lady. From the moment her post hit the
blogosphere, the stand-up comedian became the number one topic on
various blogs across the country as people began to raise an eyebrow,
insinuating that he probably was the father of Francis’ unborn child.
one also released some private chats believed to be between the
comedian and the pregnant lady. From the moment her post hit the
blogosphere, the stand-up comedian became the number one topic on
various blogs across the country as people began to raise an eyebrow,
insinuating that he probably was the father of Francis’ unborn child.
To make matters worse, the comedian
seemed nonchalant about the whole situation and when he was contacted by
an online news portal, he simply said, “And so if I impregnated Freda,
is it something new? Because most of these celebs cover up? That na why
you think say people never hear dis kain thing before. So what if na me
give am belle? Abeg abeg! Na today?”
seemed nonchalant about the whole situation and when he was contacted by
an online news portal, he simply said, “And so if I impregnated Freda,
is it something new? Because most of these celebs cover up? That na why
you think say people never hear dis kain thing before. So what if na me
give am belle? Abeg abeg! Na today?”
The infamous post by the stand-up
comedian’s wife, Mabel, came barely after the dust had settled on the
marital crisis between star actress, Mercy Aigbe and her estranged
husband, Lanre Gentry, whereby the battle field was also the digital
space.
comedian’s wife, Mabel, came barely after the dust had settled on the
marital crisis between star actress, Mercy Aigbe and her estranged
husband, Lanre Gentry, whereby the battle field was also the digital
space.
Barely a month ago, the star actress and
her husband went back and forth via their social media pages to attack
and counter attack each other over matters that border from infidelity
to domestic violence. While their case is still pending in court, the
posts of the embittered couple who are responsible for the life of two
children are still online and may remain there forever simply because
the internet never forgets.
her husband went back and forth via their social media pages to attack
and counter attack each other over matters that border from infidelity
to domestic violence. While their case is still pending in court, the
posts of the embittered couple who are responsible for the life of two
children are still online and may remain there forever simply because
the internet never forgets.
Since their marital problems have been
brought to the public domain, it is only right for the public to comment
on the issues with their children also dragged into the matter.
brought to the public domain, it is only right for the public to comment
on the issues with their children also dragged into the matter.
While granting an interview, Mitchelle,
Aigbe’s eldest child spoke on how she faces cyber bullying for being
exposed to her parents’ marital problems. She said, “You know, if you’re
not strong it can reduce your self-esteem; that’s why I hardly read my
comments. Sometimes comments make me feel like crying. Like yesterday
someone said something bad about my mum and they are now bringing it to
my page. I’m young, I’m not supposed to go through that.”
Aigbe’s eldest child spoke on how she faces cyber bullying for being
exposed to her parents’ marital problems. She said, “You know, if you’re
not strong it can reduce your self-esteem; that’s why I hardly read my
comments. Sometimes comments make me feel like crying. Like yesterday
someone said something bad about my mum and they are now bringing it to
my page. I’m young, I’m not supposed to go through that.”
While Aigbe’s case was a bloody one
based on the actress claims of domestic violence by her husband and some
bloodied pictures which surfaced online, another Nollywood celebrity
who chose to use social media as a tool to promote their marital
problems instead of promoting their career was Prince Eke and his singer
turned actress estranged wife, Muma Gee.
based on the actress claims of domestic violence by her husband and some
bloodied pictures which surfaced online, another Nollywood celebrity
who chose to use social media as a tool to promote their marital
problems instead of promoting their career was Prince Eke and his singer
turned actress estranged wife, Muma Gee.
Late last year, the celebrity couple
decided to use their social media handles to throw jabs at each other
with the actor announcing to the world that his wife was unfaithful to
him and was fond of visiting night clubs. He posted on his Instagram
page, “This is not a cheap publicity, I am not washing my dirty linen in
the public, neither do I want to invoke pity. How nice is it for a
woman to abandon her three months old baby for four weeks and ran off to
Abuja with God knows who and is being seen in Abuja at public joints
and night clubs with different men.”
decided to use their social media handles to throw jabs at each other
with the actor announcing to the world that his wife was unfaithful to
him and was fond of visiting night clubs. He posted on his Instagram
page, “This is not a cheap publicity, I am not washing my dirty linen in
the public, neither do I want to invoke pity. How nice is it for a
woman to abandon her three months old baby for four weeks and ran off to
Abuja with God knows who and is being seen in Abuja at public joints
and night clubs with different men.”
Ever since the post surfaced online, the union which produced three children seemed to have collapsed.
Also the entertainment industry and
observers would not forget in a hurry the post by Tee-billz, who is
married to pop sensation, Tiwa Savage.
observers would not forget in a hurry the post by Tee-billz, who is
married to pop sensation, Tiwa Savage.
In his post which showed the wrong side
of the limelight to his singer wife, the young man claimed that his wife
was unfaithful and she had slept with several big shots in the Nigerian
music scene. One of the jaw dropping posts read, “Within what period of
time did you fuck Jazzy and Dr Sid. And I didn’t care because of the
love I have for you. I looked at it that we all have a past even when at
this same fucking time you were fucking with 2face.”
of the limelight to his singer wife, the young man claimed that his wife
was unfaithful and she had slept with several big shots in the Nigerian
music scene. One of the jaw dropping posts read, “Within what period of
time did you fuck Jazzy and Dr Sid. And I didn’t care because of the
love I have for you. I looked at it that we all have a past even when at
this same fucking time you were fucking with 2face.”
Even though the post has since been
deleted from his Instagram account and normalcy seems to have been
restored to the family, it is very easy to access all his posts and
rants from that period.
deleted from his Instagram account and normalcy seems to have been
restored to the family, it is very easy to access all his posts and
rants from that period.
The trend is not peculiar to the
aforementioned artistes as the list goes on. However, while commenting
on this trend, some psychologists told Saturday Beats that
although most of these posts may not be up to a thousand words, their
impact is probably everlasting and most times takes a harmful toll on
the children of these celebrities.
aforementioned artistes as the list goes on. However, while commenting
on this trend, some psychologists told Saturday Beats that
although most of these posts may not be up to a thousand words, their
impact is probably everlasting and most times takes a harmful toll on
the children of these celebrities.
Professor Esther Akinsola of the
University of Lagos, who is a specialist in developmental and clinical
psychology, gave her two cents on the matter.
University of Lagos, who is a specialist in developmental and clinical
psychology, gave her two cents on the matter.
She said, “It depends on the dirt that
they are washing in the public. Sadly, their parents are not mindful of
their actions and they don’t think of their children before doing things
like that.
they are washing in the public. Sadly, their parents are not mindful of
their actions and they don’t think of their children before doing things
like that.
“Whatever they put on the social media would definitely have an impact on the way people around these children see them.
“Even for parents who do not post their
marital crisis on the social media but are separated, they are still
sometimes stigmatised in some circles let alone parents that have told
the whole world about their problems.
marital crisis on the social media but are separated, they are still
sometimes stigmatised in some circles let alone parents that have told
the whole world about their problems.
“The problem is that most parents are
not aware that such an action would definitely have a negative impact on
their children. Such an act can lead to depression but it may not be
clinical depression. It would be a normal depression especially when
they are being ridiculed by peers.
not aware that such an action would definitely have a negative impact on
their children. Such an act can lead to depression but it may not be
clinical depression. It would be a normal depression especially when
they are being ridiculed by peers.
“They would just feel dejected and
unhappy but after some time, they would get out of it. It would make
them feel sad and it could also generate anxious insecurity in the
children.
unhappy but after some time, they would get out of it. It would make
them feel sad and it could also generate anxious insecurity in the
children.
“It would definitely have some emotional
impact on the children and may affect their self-esteem, self-worth and
self-confidence. However, it also depends on how long such an act goes
on for it to have that kind of impact.”
impact on the children and may affect their self-esteem, self-worth and
self-confidence. However, it also depends on how long such an act goes
on for it to have that kind of impact.”
For Dr. Kehinde Ayenibiowo, a
developmental, cognitive, counselling and environmental psychologist,
the children of these stars could be exposed to shame.
developmental, cognitive, counselling and environmental psychologist,
the children of these stars could be exposed to shame.
She said, “Usually children pride
themselves with who their parents are and it can be quite depressing for
someone especially if you have been boasting about your parents, then
you find information about them online that is negative, it can be
depressing.
themselves with who their parents are and it can be quite depressing for
someone especially if you have been boasting about your parents, then
you find information about them online that is negative, it can be
depressing.
“It can affect them emotionally and they
could get depressed. It could be the subject of ridicule by their peers
and it can be depressing for any child.
could get depressed. It could be the subject of ridicule by their peers
and it can be depressing for any child.
“They could also have low self-esteem
affecting how they value themselves. Sometimes we pride ourselves from
our background and who our parents are.
affecting how they value themselves. Sometimes we pride ourselves from
our background and who our parents are.
“When such parents are ridiculing
themselves, it could affect the children’s view of the world because
trust has been betrayed in the home. It would be difficult for the
children to trust.
themselves, it could affect the children’s view of the world because
trust has been betrayed in the home. It would be difficult for the
children to trust.
“These same children may find it
difficult to concentrate in school because they are focused on what is
happening at home or what is being said about them and their family on
the social media space. It affects them educationally. The sense of
shame could also come in play too because some of the words these
parents use on themselves on social media are shameful words and other
people may use that against the child.”
difficult to concentrate in school because they are focused on what is
happening at home or what is being said about them and their family on
the social media space. It affects them educationally. The sense of
shame could also come in play too because some of the words these
parents use on themselves on social media are shameful words and other
people may use that against the child.”
Speaking more on a way to curb this
rising trend, the Head of Psychology Department, University of Lagos,
Professor Ibinabo Agiobu-Kemmer, a child psychologist, said, “We are
living in the digital information age where the children themselves know
what is going on on the internet than what is happening with their
parents.
rising trend, the Head of Psychology Department, University of Lagos,
Professor Ibinabo Agiobu-Kemmer, a child psychologist, said, “We are
living in the digital information age where the children themselves know
what is going on on the internet than what is happening with their
parents.
“The internet has become their extended
family. That is not where it started from because values have been
eroded. We don’t need to be an expert to know that it would upset the
children emotionally because they idolise their parents especially if
the children are adolescents.
family. That is not where it started from because values have been
eroded. We don’t need to be an expert to know that it would upset the
children emotionally because they idolise their parents especially if
the children are adolescents.
“They idolise their parents and that is
why you would notice that they brag about them and they also look up to
their parents as role models. Talking about the problems, we also have
to find a solution.
why you would notice that they brag about them and they also look up to
their parents as role models. Talking about the problems, we also have
to find a solution.
“Basically we need to talk to ourselves
and those parents because it is very likely that they do not know the
impact of their action on those children because the world is now a
global village.
and those parents because it is very likely that they do not know the
impact of their action on those children because the world is now a
global village.
“Some of those celebrities are so
self-centred that they don’t think beyond themselves but they should
please give their children a chance because it is affecting these
children. It is not just about giving them money or sending them abroad.
The children are always on social media, it is their lives and some of
them do not even know their cousins.”
self-centred that they don’t think beyond themselves but they should
please give their children a chance because it is affecting these
children. It is not just about giving them money or sending them abroad.
The children are always on social media, it is their lives and some of
them do not even know their cousins.”