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Segun Arinze talks Fatherhood experience

Nollywood actor, Mr. Segun Arinze, shares some of his experiences as a father with MOTUNRAYO JOEL.

What were things the things that prepared you for fatherhood?
Does anything really prepare one for
fatherhood? It is a responsibility that just comes on one – it is
mounted on a man when his wife becomes pregnant. One no longer has the
freedom to behave as one wishes. As a man, you begin to prepare your
mind towards the fact that you are bringing another life into this
world, hence you need to be responsible and be a role model to your
child. There is no school that prepares one for fatherhood. It is a role
one learns overtime through personal experiences and teachings from
one’s parents.  Once you have a child, your world revolves around that
child.
Would you say you nursed any fears prior to your becoming a father?
I wouldn’t say I nursed fears.
Obviously, it is inevitable for me not to think about how I would
provide for my child and the type of society and environment the child
will grow up in. But you realise that with the help of God, things fall
into place. I also thought about how I would balance work and family. I
understood that I needed to contribute my quota to raising a child who
would become a responsible figure in the society. Also, I know that
whenever my child gets out of line, I need to correct him or her.
When did you become a father?
My eldest son will be 24 soon. That is
when I became a father, and I must say, becoming a father for the first
time, was a wonderful experience.
How did you feel when you held your son for the first time?
I felt good; I was excited to hold all
my kids for the time. Welcoming a child is a blessing. All one can think
about is showering one’s love on the child.  For the mere fact that a
child is a gift freely given, makes the whole experience more special.
How do you discipline your children whenever they do wrong?
Sometimes, I spank my kids but I don’t
see spanking as a way to correct kids whenever they misbehave. I prefer
to talk to them. When I talk to them, they listen. My second and third
sons are six and five respectively. Whenever they misbehave and I talk
to them about their wrong acts, they listen. And when I take things from
them because they err, they cry. I prefer to do that rather than beat
them. I also make sure that I don’t yell at them. I do the same with my
grown up kids. I talk to them whenever they misbehave.
Are you saying you don’t believe in the saying that ‘spare the rod, spoil the child?’
The world has evolved. These days
whether you spare the rod, bend or break it, a stick will always be a
stick. But when a child errs and you have a heart-to-heart talk with
your child, the child will correct his or her wrong act. It is the same
with animals. There is a limit to how one can beat an animal. If you are
caught going overboard, you will be arrested. Animals have their
rights. I believe in talking to caution a child.
How do you react whenever your children make you angry?
My children know me. Once I look at them in a particular way, they behave well.
What ideals did you imbibe from your father which you are passing on to your children?
The values I learnt from my father are
to be straightforward and principled. I was taught to always tell the
truth no matter the situation. I was also taught not to be aggressive
and not to engage in fights. Though there are times one needs to stand
one’s ground. When I was child, another kid always bullied me and
prevented me from playing football. I was only comfortable playing
football when he wasn’t around. One day, he arrived on the football
pitch and he asked me to leave but I didn’t. We got into a fight. I did
not know I had such inner strength. I beat him. But I tell my kids to
always report to their teachers in school whenever any child tries to
bully them.
What have been some of your greatest challenges as a father?
It has been a learning process. As a
father, you learn every day. You learn to know when your child is ill,
the child’s body language and many other behavioural patterns. You learn
to control a child who is vibrant and bold. For example, my youngest is
vibrant; he can say anything in public. We had to learn how to caution
him. People may have laughed at his words but we needed to caution him
not to say some things in public. I teach my kids etiquette rules. As
parents, we need to realise that how our kids behave in public is a
replica of their upbringing.
What lessons has fatherhood taught you?
It has taught me to be patient. One of
the worst things a parent can experience is to miss bonding with their
kids in their childhood. You need to be there to watch them grow. They
make you laugh, cry, angry and do things that get you scared.
What special gifts have you given your children?
Every day is special. I try on a daily
basis to give my children words of wisdom and encouragement. I also try
not to miss their birthdays, but whenever I do, I compensate them. I
instill the right values in them. Whenever I’m at home with them, I do
their homework with them.
Are there things you would have loved to do differently as a father?
Whenever I err, I correct my act. No father is perfect.
Which of your children is showing interest in acting?
I have not really observed that interest
in any of them, but my second son seems to be gravitating towards that
line of profession. Sometimes, I see him holding a microphone and
singing. I will definitely support the child but I would first ensure
the child earns a degree. Education is the best legacy.
How do you balance work and family considering your work schedule?
In Nigeria, it is a tough task but it is
something that has to be done whether one likes it or not or else, one
area will suffer.
 How do you appreciate your wife?
I call her often whenever I’m not at home. I appreciate her in a lot of ways. She is a super woman.
What is the most romantic gift you have bought for your wife?
I have bought her many gifts but she
always knows whenever I want to surprise her with a gift.  She always
prefers I channel the money into something else. But when I’m determined
to do something, nothing can stop me. I love her so much. I love her as
a wife and the mother of my children. I see her as my sister.
Do your children enjoy watching the movies you featured in?
Yes, they do but they are still young. They have not fully grasped my profession.
What advice do you have for fathers?
They should stay focused, patient and
prayerful. They should speak good words into the lives of their
children. They should constantly talk to God about their children.
Prayer is important and they should never curse their children. I
believe in prayers.
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Baby survives as two passenger buses collide, killing 36

 Image result for bus accident kills 36 on lagos ibadan expressway

Last night (HERE), we reported that an accident along the Lagos/Ibadan Express way claimed 36 lives, we have got a new update....a baby survived!
A witness had earlier told NAN that “all the passengers in the 18-seater buses were burnt beyond recognition”.

“Only a baby escaped death because the father threw him out through the window of the bus,” the witness was quoted as saying.

Yusuf Salami, the Oyo state sector commander of the Federal Road Safety Corps (FRSC), had also confirmed the accident.

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