Deceit is an abused Nigerian woman.
She gets battered one minute and the next minute she is on social media
telling the world what a wonderful husband she has. She shares pictures
of the good times and talks about how he is the best in the world, how
she will choose him all over again if she had to do so again. Really?
Aunty? Are you okay like this?
I do believe I will never
understand women who praise and hype their abusive husbands. I mean, how
do you look the same husbands in the face knowing he must have seen the
adoration you wrote and he knows as well as you do that its all a lie.
Is it that they hope the men will aspire to be those men they describe
in flowery “Awww” inducing posts? Do they hope to guilt trip the brutes
into good behavior? Is it a case of “nani,nani ,nani,ohun a ni la’n
nani”? Is it? Are you supposed to be hyping and praising a man that’s
sending you to the Emergency room on a steady basis? Are you okay like
this?
I do believe there is a mental issue at the foundation of
this. Something must really be wrong with one’s pysche for you to accept
regular beating as an adult and not just that but still present a
facade of perfection to the world. I wonder if these women know that it
actually diminishes their value further. I bet these men see them as
pitiable creatures. I mean why should I respect someone who is more
concerned about public perception than she is about her own welfare?
Aunty, Husband will constantly beat you so tey den know you for
emergency room of the hospital in your locality. Your Car, clothes and
every other thing you own is bought with your hard earned money but
because you belong to #pepperdemgang
you will come online and praise Mr husband for buying these things for
you. You will even tag him and he may even respond calling you “Boo” and
orisirisi. Na life be that? Are you okay like this? Will anybody kill
you if you just share a picture of your latest exotic Car without
talking about who bankrolled it? No you must pepper “them’.
Meanwhile who are these people that you are always peppering? Your
husband’s concubines? His ex wife? Your friends? Your frenemies? Other
women? Ndi “I tap into this”? Onye?
From Tonto Dikeh to Mercy
Aigbe , its been the same story and I keep wondering if they and women
like them have functional brains. Are they even aware that if it ever
happens that they become victims of foul play; these flowery posts can
be used in defense of the Man? When Charity Aiyedogbon went missing last
year and fingers pointed at her husband, her friends brought out
screenshots of where she shared about how troubled the marriage was,
then others brought out posts of where she was worshipping the same
husband in an interview talking about how he is the best thing ever.
Biko which one should we believe? The same thing happened to Tonto
Dikeh, same is happening to Mercy Aigbe now?
How about the shame
and disrepute that comes with you admitting all your lovey dovey posts
were all a lie…that you have been lying all along. What about the
fact that it deals a blow to your credibility? If you can lie about the
state of your relationship, why can’t you lie about being abused?
When will Nigerian women start having self respect? When? Pepper dem
gang when will you people rest? Stop living your life for other’s
validation, start living your life for you. As for the tappers
association…..Awww inspiring Weddings on Bella Naija that didn’t last
even six months didn’t teach you guys enough? When will you stop tapping
into other people’s relationship? Stop cursing yourself by yourself.
Written by Toyin Fabunmi Okpaleke