Multi-talented actor, singer and
producer, Yinka Akanbi, who is behind the popular TV series, I just Came
Back and Ajo music album, shares the story of his marriage to Bolanle
with TOFARATI IGE.
producer, Yinka Akanbi, who is behind the popular TV series, I just Came
Back and Ajo music album, shares the story of his marriage to Bolanle
with TOFARATI IGE.
How did you meet?
Yinka: We had known
each other before we met officially. I went to school with her sister,
but we weren’t that close. Many years after, we met again.
each other before we met officially. I went to school with her sister,
but we weren’t that close. Many years after, we met again.
Bolanle: When I
finished NYSC, I met a friend who introduced me to a producer, who then
got me a job in broadcasting with Eko FM. Sometime later; the producer
informed me that there was an opening at OGD Pictures. The company
needed someone who could make the movie, Hostages, into a novel. Even
though the project did not eventually work out, it was the beginning of
our union because I met Yinka again at OGD Pictures.
finished NYSC, I met a friend who introduced me to a producer, who then
got me a job in broadcasting with Eko FM. Sometime later; the producer
informed me that there was an opening at OGD Pictures. The company
needed someone who could make the movie, Hostages, into a novel. Even
though the project did not eventually work out, it was the beginning of
our union because I met Yinka again at OGD Pictures.
Was it love at first sight?
Bolanle: It certainly
wasn’t, it was something that just grew on us. Maybe it was easier
because we had known each other for a while, and that made it easier to
trust each other. At that time, I think I had just come out of a
relationship.
wasn’t, it was something that just grew on us. Maybe it was easier
because we had known each other for a while, and that made it easier to
trust each other. At that time, I think I had just come out of a
relationship.
Yinka: It wasn’t love
at first sight for me. The first time she visited me, she did that as a
sister. I invited her over as a family friend, because as at that time, I
had made up my mind not to marry a Nigerian. However, while she was
with me, a friend also visited, and asked me who she was. I told him she
was my sister, and he said that she looks like a well- brought up lady.
He added that if I wasn’t interested, he’d like to go for her. That
actually got me thinking in that line, and things grew from there.
at first sight for me. The first time she visited me, she did that as a
sister. I invited her over as a family friend, because as at that time, I
had made up my mind not to marry a Nigerian. However, while she was
with me, a friend also visited, and asked me who she was. I told him she
was my sister, and he said that she looks like a well- brought up lady.
He added that if I wasn’t interested, he’d like to go for her. That
actually got me thinking in that line, and things grew from there.
What qualities did you see in your spouse that convinced you she was the one?
Yinka: I knew her
background, and we had a similar upbringing. I could vouch for the depth
of her character. That softened my mind, and it was the clincher for
me. There is also one incident that stands out. While we were dating, we
were away from each other for a long time, and I promised her that next
time we got together, I would take her out for a treat. She asked me
how much it would cost us to go out and have a jolly good time. I told
her a figure, and she asked me to bring the money. Along the line, I
slept off, and when I woke up, it was to the sweet aroma of vegetable
soup and other dishes. She had gone to the market to buy some foodstuff,
and she even left some change on the table. That act really impressed
me.
background, and we had a similar upbringing. I could vouch for the depth
of her character. That softened my mind, and it was the clincher for
me. There is also one incident that stands out. While we were dating, we
were away from each other for a long time, and I promised her that next
time we got together, I would take her out for a treat. She asked me
how much it would cost us to go out and have a jolly good time. I told
her a figure, and she asked me to bring the money. Along the line, I
slept off, and when I woke up, it was to the sweet aroma of vegetable
soup and other dishes. She had gone to the market to buy some foodstuff,
and she even left some change on the table. That act really impressed
me.
Bolanle: During my
young adult days, I used to read a lot of books, especially the Mills
and Boons romance novels. As a result, I had formed a mental picture of
the type of man I wanted who would be tall and broad-shouldered. Good
enough, Yinka had all the physical characteristics I wanted in a man. I
also wanted a man who was mature enough to take me as the complex person
that I am. To a large extent, he was the only one who could break
through my ‘wall’ because I was an introvert.
young adult days, I used to read a lot of books, especially the Mills
and Boons romance novels. As a result, I had formed a mental picture of
the type of man I wanted who would be tall and broad-shouldered. Good
enough, Yinka had all the physical characteristics I wanted in a man. I
also wanted a man who was mature enough to take me as the complex person
that I am. To a large extent, he was the only one who could break
through my ‘wall’ because I was an introvert.
How did you propose to her?
Yinka: I got someone to
bake a cake for me with a question marked boldly etched on it. When she
saw the cake, she screamed and thanked me. However, she behaved like a
smart fish in the sense that she took the bait, and ran away. After
taking the cake, she stopped coming to see me. Meanwhile, she was
telling people about the situation of things, and the people she spoke
to about me did not discourage her. I later visited her family house,
and I was asked to come with my family.
bake a cake for me with a question marked boldly etched on it. When she
saw the cake, she screamed and thanked me. However, she behaved like a
smart fish in the sense that she took the bait, and ran away. After
taking the cake, she stopped coming to see me. Meanwhile, she was
telling people about the situation of things, and the people she spoke
to about me did not discourage her. I later visited her family house,
and I was asked to come with my family.
Bolanle: I wasn’t
completely surprised when I saw the cake because in the course of our
conversation, I’d guessed that he may do something like that. He may not
remember, but I walked out of the kitchen then and gave him a bear hug,
and that was my answer.
completely surprised when I saw the cake because in the course of our
conversation, I’d guessed that he may do something like that. He may not
remember, but I walked out of the kitchen then and gave him a bear hug,
and that was my answer.
How would you sum your marriage experience so far?
Bolanle: I’ll sum it up
in one word that has multiple meanings, and that’s interesting. We’ve
undoubtedly had challenges as man and wife, but somehow, perhaps because
of our foundation, we’ve always been able to overcome and still stay
committed. Some of my friends insinuate that being in the movie
industry; I should not rely completely on him. They infer that he may be
playing games with me, especially whenever he’s away on set, but that
has never fazed me. It’s safe to say we have no regrets whatsoever.
in one word that has multiple meanings, and that’s interesting. We’ve
undoubtedly had challenges as man and wife, but somehow, perhaps because
of our foundation, we’ve always been able to overcome and still stay
committed. Some of my friends insinuate that being in the movie
industry; I should not rely completely on him. They infer that he may be
playing games with me, especially whenever he’s away on set, but that
has never fazed me. It’s safe to say we have no regrets whatsoever.
Yinka: Sometimes, I
find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that it’s been 18
years. The experience has been a roller-coaster. We have had to surmount
trying times together, as we do have misunderstandings. We have had to
make sacrifices, even career wise, simply because we want to stay
together. And when the kids came, they helped to consolidate the
relationship. More than anything, it has been worth my while. I know my
parents, and some of my siblings and friends, would have loved to have
this kind of relationship that I’m enjoying.
find it difficult to come to terms with the fact that it’s been 18
years. The experience has been a roller-coaster. We have had to surmount
trying times together, as we do have misunderstandings. We have had to
make sacrifices, even career wise, simply because we want to stay
together. And when the kids came, they helped to consolidate the
relationship. More than anything, it has been worth my while. I know my
parents, and some of my siblings and friends, would have loved to have
this kind of relationship that I’m enjoying.
How often do you quarrel?
Yinka: We thrash it out
as soon as it comes. We are very natural and down-to-earth people, so
we deal with these things as the need arises. The only time we ever had
an issue that we had to be cautious around one another due to a quarrel
was a long time ago about five years into our relationship. And ever
since we broke that ice, it has never happened again. Even our children
have never witnessed us engaging in arguments.
as soon as it comes. We are very natural and down-to-earth people, so
we deal with these things as the need arises. The only time we ever had
an issue that we had to be cautious around one another due to a quarrel
was a long time ago about five years into our relationship. And ever
since we broke that ice, it has never happened again. Even our children
have never witnessed us engaging in arguments.
Who usually apologises first?
Bolanle: That’s a funny
question. I don’t keep records of that anyway. Anybody who is wrong
apologises as the situation calls for it. I think we both apologise
equally.
question. I don’t keep records of that anyway. Anybody who is wrong
apologises as the situation calls for it. I think we both apologise
equally.
Yinka: When one person
apologises, the other party would also apologise, and that’s how we
operate. The person who is right cannot be totally right, and
vice-versa. A lot of people say I communicate with my wife as friends,
and that’s how it’s supposed to be.
apologises, the other party would also apologise, and that’s how we
operate. The person who is right cannot be totally right, and
vice-versa. A lot of people say I communicate with my wife as friends,
and that’s how it’s supposed to be.
How do you cope with your husband’s female admirers?
Bolanle: An admirer is
an admirer, and a fan is just that; I don’t categorise them based on
gender. The fans are the ones who have helped and motivated him to
become who he is today. I don’t see any threat because I have implicit
trust in him. I don’t usually visit him when he’s shooting on location. I
have the home to manage, and I have to face my career as well.
Sometimes, when we are in public, and he greets fans, I’m even the one
that prods him to make sure he greets them warmly.
an admirer, and a fan is just that; I don’t categorise them based on
gender. The fans are the ones who have helped and motivated him to
become who he is today. I don’t see any threat because I have implicit
trust in him. I don’t usually visit him when he’s shooting on location. I
have the home to manage, and I have to face my career as well.
Sometimes, when we are in public, and he greets fans, I’m even the one
that prods him to make sure he greets them warmly.
Yinka: We laugh over
it. It’s only natural for people to show admiration, so we don’t bother
ourselves too much over that. We trust each other, and we have a strong
foundation. There are some times she stays in the office till as late as
1am, and her boss would have to call me to apologise. I would then be
the one to allay his mind.
it. It’s only natural for people to show admiration, so we don’t bother
ourselves too much over that. We trust each other, and we have a strong
foundation. There are some times she stays in the office till as late as
1am, and her boss would have to call me to apologise. I would then be
the one to allay his mind.
Why do you think celeb marriages don’t often last?
Yinka: The most
important question to ask yourself is where did you meet your wife? If
you met on stage, it’s likely to end on the stage. You also need to
demarcate various aspects of your life; the marriages of many celebs
don’t work because they don’t draw lines. Also, I’m not a star in my
house; I’m an ordinary person when I’m with my family.
important question to ask yourself is where did you meet your wife? If
you met on stage, it’s likely to end on the stage. You also need to
demarcate various aspects of your life; the marriages of many celebs
don’t work because they don’t draw lines. Also, I’m not a star in my
house; I’m an ordinary person when I’m with my family.
Bolanle: I’m not sure
anybody goes into any marriage expecting it to fail. I think also that
our level of commitment is a determining factor. If you bring the world
out there into your home, the marriage may not last.
anybody goes into any marriage expecting it to fail. I think also that
our level of commitment is a determining factor. If you bring the world
out there into your home, the marriage may not last.
Do you keep a joint account, and would you advise couples to do same?
Bolanle: Yes, we do.
I’m on the board of his company, Pisces Audio-Visual, and I’m also a
signatory to that account as well. However, we also have individual
accounts.
I’m on the board of his company, Pisces Audio-Visual, and I’m also a
signatory to that account as well. However, we also have individual
accounts.
Yinka: To be honest, I
really can’t advise anybody as regards marriage, because different
things work for different people. If they’re cool with operating joint
accounts, they should go ahead with it. Any money that comes into this
house belongs to everybody; we all decide together what to do with money
because we don’t worship it. Our biggest joint account is our children.
We also like to help people as much as we can.
really can’t advise anybody as regards marriage, because different
things work for different people. If they’re cool with operating joint
accounts, they should go ahead with it. Any money that comes into this
house belongs to everybody; we all decide together what to do with money
because we don’t worship it. Our biggest joint account is our children.
We also like to help people as much as we can.
What pet names do you have for each other?
Yinka: She used to call
me her stallion. But now, she calls me ‘Yinka mi’ and I call her ‘Bola
mi.’ There are some other names we don’t call, but we show by our
actions and reactions.
me her stallion. But now, she calls me ‘Yinka mi’ and I call her ‘Bola
mi.’ There are some other names we don’t call, but we show by our
actions and reactions.
Why did you call him stallion?
Bolanle: That’s my own little secret.
How do you unwind as a couple?
Yinka: Once in a while, we try to go walking, or just relax with good music.
Bolanle: We also attend stage plays because that’s his background. We experimented with clubbing for a while, but it didn’t work for me.
Can you recall the most memorable time of your marriage?
Bolanle: My most
memorable moments are the ones we spend cuddling each other. Each time I
was delivered of a baby remains a memorable moment.
memorable moments are the ones we spend cuddling each other. Each time I
was delivered of a baby remains a memorable moment.
Yinka: There was a time
I wanted to embark on a particular production, but there was no money.
At a point, I felt despondent about it coming to pass, but she
encouraged me that we could get the money to execute the project.
Eventually, she facilitated how we eventually raised the money.
I wanted to embark on a particular production, but there was no money.
At a point, I felt despondent about it coming to pass, but she
encouraged me that we could get the money to execute the project.
Eventually, she facilitated how we eventually raised the money.
What are the key ingredients needed to sustain a marriage?
Yinka: Marriage is not
an exact science. It’s more like swimming where you have to constantly
navigate the waters to be successful. You consistently have to work on
your marriage to make it the best.
an exact science. It’s more like swimming where you have to constantly
navigate the waters to be successful. You consistently have to work on
your marriage to make it the best.
Does your husband partake in household chores?
Bolanle: Yes, he does.
Sometimes, he even takes over the kitchen to prepare fantastic treats
for the family. He’s a pillar of support. Just knowing that he’s there
gives me some sort of confidence. He’s a great guy, even if I say so
myself.
Sometimes, he even takes over the kitchen to prepare fantastic treats
for the family. He’s a pillar of support. Just knowing that he’s there
gives me some sort of confidence. He’s a great guy, even if I say so
myself.