The Oshinaikes
Actor, Toyin Oshinaike, is married to Tope, a secondary school principal. They talk about their union in this chat with Spice,enjoy!
How did you meet your wife?
Toyin: We met a few
years ago when I was looking for an actor to play a role in one of our
productions. A friend who recommended that she played the role took me
to her house because I needed to convince her about it. She eventually
agreed to play role and I was the director of the production. We worked
together on a couple of other productions as well.
years ago when I was looking for an actor to play a role in one of our
productions. A friend who recommended that she played the role took me
to her house because I needed to convince her about it. She eventually
agreed to play role and I was the director of the production. We worked
together on a couple of other productions as well.
Were your first impressions of her positive?
Toyin: When we got to
the house, we were told she went to fetch water. I saw her carrying a
bucket of water on her permed hair and her legs were dirty. Judging from
her appearance, she did not strike me as someone that could speak
English, but I was amazed when I heard her speak. I am not one who
easily falls in love even though I had dated some ladies in the past.
Growing up, I knew I always wanted to have a beautiful family. I was
raised in a broken home and as such, did not know what love meant. I did
not plan to fall in love.
the house, we were told she went to fetch water. I saw her carrying a
bucket of water on her permed hair and her legs were dirty. Judging from
her appearance, she did not strike me as someone that could speak
English, but I was amazed when I heard her speak. I am not one who
easily falls in love even though I had dated some ladies in the past.
Growing up, I knew I always wanted to have a beautiful family. I was
raised in a broken home and as such, did not know what love meant. I did
not plan to fall in love.
How did your husband propose to you?
Tope: He used to be my
director while I was a freelance actor. We went to rehearse at Tarkwa
Bay and while we were on a recess at night, he asked me to look up at
the sky and notice how the moon romanced the sea. He simply told me he
was not searching for a girlfriend but wanted a wife. I did not expect
him to propose when he did. It might have seemed quite radical but I
think it was a divine connection.
director while I was a freelance actor. We went to rehearse at Tarkwa
Bay and while we were on a recess at night, he asked me to look up at
the sky and notice how the moon romanced the sea. He simply told me he
was not searching for a girlfriend but wanted a wife. I did not expect
him to propose when he did. It might have seemed quite radical but I
think it was a divine connection.
Did any of your family members oppose your decision to get married?
Tope: Not at all.
Surprisingly, when I introduced him to my family, they accepted him
immediately, probably because of his work and discipline. Before my dad
passed away, he used to call him Omega, while he called my
brother-in-law, Alpha. My father adored my husband.
Surprisingly, when I introduced him to my family, they accepted him
immediately, probably because of his work and discipline. Before my dad
passed away, he used to call him Omega, while he called my
brother-in-law, Alpha. My father adored my husband.
What were some of the challenges you encountered in the early stages of your marriage?
Tope: One of the major
challenges was his constant absence from home due to the nature of his
job. I ensured I followed him to camps at every opportunity I got. But I
was not really worried most of the time because I knew he would bring
back some money when he returned. It was not an unpleasant experience
and I was patient.
challenges was his constant absence from home due to the nature of his
job. I ensured I followed him to camps at every opportunity I got. But I
was not really worried most of the time because I knew he would bring
back some money when he returned. It was not an unpleasant experience
and I was patient.
How has being raised in a broken home affected your marriage?
Toyin: I was not hated
upon while growing up, but I never really felt the kind of love I saw in
my friends’ homes. I never knew a mother’s love and my relationship
with my stepmother was just cordial. I do not want my children to feel
that way and I am happy that my family is not like the one I grew up in.
I treat them the way I wished I was treated. One good thing I took away
from my childhood was the fact that I always emerged tops in my class
because I was scared of my father. My experiences opened my eyes and
heart to love and I am sure my father would be happy with me wherever he
is.
upon while growing up, but I never really felt the kind of love I saw in
my friends’ homes. I never knew a mother’s love and my relationship
with my stepmother was just cordial. I do not want my children to feel
that way and I am happy that my family is not like the one I grew up in.
I treat them the way I wished I was treated. One good thing I took away
from my childhood was the fact that I always emerged tops in my class
because I was scared of my father. My experiences opened my eyes and
heart to love and I am sure my father would be happy with me wherever he
is.
How would you describe the experience of being married to your husband?
Tope: Marriage is not a
bed of roses, but with Toyin Oshinaike, it has been adventurous. We
have had some challenges but we did not let them affect our marriage. It
has been fruitful and I look forward to more years with him. He is my
friend and a good lover although he has his own issues. He is not
dishonest or selfish.
bed of roses, but with Toyin Oshinaike, it has been adventurous. We
have had some challenges but we did not let them affect our marriage. It
has been fruitful and I look forward to more years with him. He is my
friend and a good lover although he has his own issues. He is not
dishonest or selfish.
Is he as romantic as most actors are presumed to be?
Tope: When we initially
got married, he did not exhibit that side of him. He was that same
director that always shouted on people. But he is romantic and
possessive in a positive way.
got married, he did not exhibit that side of him. He was that same
director that always shouted on people. But he is romantic and
possessive in a positive way.
How have you coped with his schedules?
Tope: We cope just
fine. I am also quite busy and when I am not working, I stay with the
children. He spends time with us when he is free.
fine. I am also quite busy and when I am not working, I stay with the
children. He spends time with us when he is free.
How do you assure your wife of your fidelity?
Toyin: I have never quarrelled with my wife concerning that. I do not know how she developed faith in me.
What does your spouse do to get you angry sometimes?
Toyin: Some of them are
selfish little acts and do not really cause any trouble or
misunderstanding. I have learnt not to disturb her when she wants to
sleep.
selfish little acts and do not really cause any trouble or
misunderstanding. I have learnt not to disturb her when she wants to
sleep.
Tope: My husband likes
to dwell on issues. Sometimes, he does that for a whole day to ensure
that whatever message he wants to pass across sinks in.
to dwell on issues. Sometimes, he does that for a whole day to ensure
that whatever message he wants to pass across sinks in.
Who is the first to apologise after a misunderstanding?
Toyin: My wife is quick to apologise, sometimes, only after I have pointed out a wrong she did. I also apologise to her.
Do you have access to each other’s phones and social media accounts?
Tope: We operate an
open policy at home. Although, I do not check his phones or social media
accounts, I know his passwords. Most of his friends are my friends and
there is nothing to worry about.
open policy at home. Although, I do not check his phones or social media
accounts, I know his passwords. Most of his friends are my friends and
there is nothing to worry about.
How do you spend time as a couple?
Toyin: We take some
time out to relax somewhere away from home. Sometimes, when I have a
movie to shoot, we go together but we have not done that in a long
while.
time out to relax somewhere away from home. Sometimes, when I have a
movie to shoot, we go together but we have not done that in a long
while.
What is the secret of your successful marriage?
Tope: Prayer and
consistency have been helpful. We have belief in the same God and we
love ourselves. Sometimes, we cannot really identify why we love
ourselves.
consistency have been helpful. We have belief in the same God and we
love ourselves. Sometimes, we cannot really identify why we love
ourselves.
How often does he assist with home chores?
Tope: He could be lazy
at times and at other times, he could prove useful. The only food he
cooks is noodles and egg. He does not overlabour me with trivial
domestic chores; he helps when the need arises.
at times and at other times, he could prove useful. The only food he
cooks is noodles and egg. He does not overlabour me with trivial
domestic chores; he helps when the need arises.
What would be your advice to celebrities’ spouses?
Tope: They should always confide in their partners, be friends with them, make them their only lover and stay focused.
What advice do you have for intending couples?
Toyin: Marriage is all
about love respect and regard. If you are married to someone then you
must regard and respect the person. People no longer declare their love
because of fear, but when you love someone the fear will disappear. That
is the only way they can enjoy their marriage.
about love respect and regard. If you are married to someone then you
must regard and respect the person. People no longer declare their love
because of fear, but when you love someone the fear will disappear. That
is the only way they can enjoy their marriage.
What pet names do you call each other?
Tope: He calls me Topsy
or Ade ori mi. I actually have a lot of pet names depending on my mood.
Sometimes, I call him Magula while he calls me Gula Gula.
or Ade ori mi. I actually have a lot of pet names depending on my mood.
Sometimes, I call him Magula while he calls me Gula Gula.