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After 17years of Marriage, Nigerian wife curses husband for destroying her life

 

 
One Bukola Oduwaiye has taken  her Facebook page to curse and breath fire
on her estranged husband Frederick Segun Duyile, who she says took her
kids away from her because he suddenly found her ‘to be violent and
mentally unstable’ after 17 years of marriage!

This is a man
she says she fled from after enduring 6 years of harrowing abuse in
Nigeria to Ireland. She was shocked when one day, Fred appeared at her
new home in Ireland saying he wanted her and their marriage back.

Against her good judgement, based on sentiments, she took him back. They came back to Nigeria,
she
spent all her life savings so that she and Fred can have a renewal of
vows and 10th year wedding anniversary celebration in Nigeria. They got
back to Ireland, she helped Fred obtain his stay in Ireland only for him
to turn around and instigate the social services against her. He
finally succeeded in getting custody of the children and imposed an
injunction against her.


All
of this was done, she says, in her absence in court due to a
bereavement. She had no form of legal representation during the court
hearing.  You can watch the video (HERE). 

Bukola says:

Today
is the 10th birthday of my Irish born daughter, the very reason and
purpose that brought me to Ireland; to seek protection for her, for
myself and for my other 2 boys…but today, I have not even seen her nor
had access to her for two years now as a result of ‘jungle justice’
carried out in a ‘Kangaroo court’ where I was not present, neither was I
represented nor had any counsel in defense… even as my abuser with
several records of violence got full custody of all my 4 kids plus a
barring order against me…After I have been the sole custodian and sole
carer and provider for my kids for 8 of my 10 years of stay in Ireland
until the kids were given to him.

MY STORY

I
was raised to keep family matters private but my silence,
confidentiality, and love of family has been my greatest undoing…I have
nothing at stake anymore, my own story wouldnt be told from the grave, I
will tell it now and if anything happens to me thereafter, then the
whole world will know who is responsible. 

I
met Frederick Segun Duyile aka Abdulfatha Bello in 1997 and we got
married in 1998 after a short courtship, I was 22, he was 35 when we
met, we courted and I moved in with him from my sister’s apartment as we
started preparing for our wedding. It was then I started noticing his
anger problems and extreme violence. We started off with practically
nothing, the house we lived in and the old Peugeot car were passed down
by his junior brother, I survived even with no generator or mosquito
nettings on the windows as I had to light candles in place of
electricity and cope with mosquitoes but I wasn’t complaining. Within a
month or two, things became so good financially and a date was fixed for
our traditional marriage, I noticed he never spent his evenings or
nights at home and the earliest time he came home was 3:30am on regular
basis.

We
then got a houseboy and by the time I was 4 months pregnant, he had
started beating me on a regular basis for minor mistakes in the home, if
a glass is broken, I got the beating of my life. He had a leather belt
with which he constantly beats me and the houseboy. The beating
continued throughout the pregnancy but I was so ashamed to confide in
anyone, I hid the patches on my body but the abuse was known to his
close friends who frequented our home and sometimes he’ll even rip off
my clothes while beating me in the presence of visitors.
After
having my first son, the beating and violence became common knowledge to
his family members and mine, and even my church members; who all
insisted I had to make the marriage work by praying and fasting for him
to change…I was beaten to a state of unconsciousness on a particular
night when he came home and complained there was a bit of delay as I
didn’t open the gate soon enough for him, the abuse became so unbearable
and even he phoned my mum on an occasion that if my mum needed me
alive, she should come and take me away and I tried to leave on several
occasions but had nowhere to go since my mum insisted I must stay there.

His
own mum and sister told me that he had suffered mental sickness as a
result of being in Saudi Arabia prison for several years which he never
told me before we got married…I always had to be awake all night waiting
for his nightly return inorder to open the gate and also make his food
for I was forbidden the use of the microwave as he would beat me and ask
if I wanted him to contract cancer through the use of the microwave, so
the food must be prepared fresh even in the middle of the night…after
being beaten to a state of unconsciousness on one occasion, on another
occasion he attacked me in the bath and I slipped in the bathtub my
right arm was dislocated from my shoulder socket, I lost my second
pregnancy as a result of severe physical, mental and emotional torture.
I was being used as his secretary and I couldn’t go out until I started
an Engineering Programme in Unilag just to escape from the house, we
had cars but I drove in fear because each time I got a scratch by a
careless bus driver, I knew I’d be beaten and kicked to the ground. The
cars were obviously more of value to him than I was, as I got beaten and
kicked for any scratch on the cars. I drove good cars and he bought me
expensive clothes and jewelleries but I was treated worse than a slave.

He
constantly had quarrels with his friends and brothers and they will
then make up again but one incidence I will never forget was in December
2001, he and his brother, Kenny Duyile aka Gabriel Odugbemi had one of
their usual problems and Kenny started sending mobile policemen to
threaten me in the house, I was 9 months pregnant with my second son, I
was so greatly disturbed as I constantly had contractions from all the
disturbances, I went into hospital and had my second son on the 8th of
January 2002 at the Mother&Child Hospital on Adeniyi Jones Ikeja,
Lagos. I had a Caesarian section and just after coming round from
aneasthesia, Segun Fred Duyile then phoned his brother Kenny Duyile who
came to the hospital with a bus load of hoodlums, the hospital staff
refused them entry on the grounds that it was too late in the night, I
was just coming out of surgery, and they looked dangerous and were too
many. Then Kenny Duyile and his thugs started beating all staff and
patients, they broke glass windows, lightings…… I was just coming out of
surgery and couldnt move but I went into shock and was bleeding
profusely, my new born baby was rushed away for safety together with my 3
yr old son…. Kenny Duyile’s friends then attacked the matron who
blocked him from gaining access to me and he bit off the matron’s finger
…….this facts can be checked at the Mother&Child hospital, Adeniyi
Jones Ikeja….it all happened on the night of 8th of January 2002….thank
God I survived once again.

There
was no explanation or apologies….their mother came four months later to
tell me that because her 2 sons had a quarrel, she therefore in her
Celestial church bought a brand new sword and cut a pregnant goat into
two; threw one half into the bar beach and buried the other part in the
ground. Therefore someone was either going to die or go and never return
back; and so on the night that I had the baby when Kenny Duyile
returned Tosin Duyile(her third son) to her house by 3am, claiming Tosin
refused to do what he was supposed to do at the hospital where I had
the baby; she collapsed upon hearing that I had the baby. 

Then
their sister Tale Duyile’s husband Mr Ewosika came to our house crying
that Kenny Duyile and their mum got him locked up by mobile police
officers and within the 3days of locking him up, they had used his
healthy infant son for money rituals, it was a set of twins, of which
the healthy one suddenly died of unknown cause, he claimed he had to
report the incidence to OPC. Also he told the story of how a previous
first son by Tale Duyile was also used for rituals at the same Celestial
church of their mum; Mr Ewosika also pointed out the previous case and
insisted that his baby must be exhumed for him to see as he wouldn’t
accept why within 3 days of locking him up, how a baby will suddenly die
and they wouldn’t leave the corpse for him as the father to make all
necessary rites..

Their mum came
in February 2003 to tell me that someone was either going to die, or go
and never come back, she stayed in our house for a week during which she
would wake up every night chanting her celestial incantations and
cursing the wife that wouldn’t let her sons take care of her. She left,
and then Segun Duyile travelled in February 2003 to attend his 419 fraud
business in Kish Island where he was caught up by the Interpol and
whisked off to Iran… I didn’t hear from him and was getting worried
until his friend came in to give me the bad news, I fainted and later
came round but couldn’t even remember anything about myself, I didn’t
know what would be his fate in faraway Iran, I neither slept nor ate for
several days because he was incommunicado, I went from pillar to post
praying for mercy….eventually we heard from him and he explained that if
I could sell off some cars to raise money, he might be released. All
his close friends and associates discouraged me from sending the money
because they claimed there was no hope of his release and I was just
going to lose the money, they advised I should keep whatever we had and
take care of my sons but I said I would do anything to save the father
of my children as he explained to me that the prison condition in Iran
was so terrible and he wouldn’t survive it… I went everywhere soliciting
funds, sold my personal jewelleries, sold cars; all to have him
released.

Eventually
he was released but failed to come home, he was in Dubai for several
months…. None of his brothers or family members came to check on us or
came to his assistance while he had this problem, there was just one
friend of his, Mayowa Agbelusi, who was of assistance, I had no domestic
help anymore, I had to take care of my 2 sons, queue up at the petrol
station, be the guard at our gate, did everything all alone….Mayowa was
the only one who came checking up on us and eventually I saw so much
kindness in him and we got intimate, I became pregnant and I chose to
have my baby because in the first instance I never had any marriage that
was worth protecting… I was fed up….Segun Duyile came back to Nigeria
and I left Nigeria with my 2 sons to seek asylum in Ireland. I left him
in Nigeria with everything we both worked for, I left him with 4 cars
and landed property and came to Ireland with only my 2 sons and a
pregnancy plus my BTA…

I had
my daughter Catriona in February 2004, Segun Duyile came to Ireland in
July 2004 and asked me questions and I admitted the paternity of my
daughter, we both cried throughout the night and he left the next
morning for London to inform his brother Kenny Duyile, from then on,
himself and Kenny kept calling me at odd hours of the night and day,
threatening me that I was either going to die or run mad if I don’t come
back to Nigeria with their two sons, I became so ill from the incessant
threats. I was living with the pains of separation from family and
friends, I was coping with caring for 2 boys and an infant, I was living
with the stigma of having a child out of wedlock, and was being given
sleepless nights from threats by him and his brother and mother who were
never there for him when he had to face death in Iran.

The
threats continued until one afternoon, while cooking, I suddenly
switched off the cooker and strapped my baby to the buggy, together with
my boys, we went to Dublin Airport and I kept screaming to be taken to
Nigeria, from there I went to the Nigerian Embassy, the officials called
Kenny Duyile even though I didnt give them his name as my next of kin,
Kenny then called an ambulance to drop me at the emergency of Beaumont
hospital while he took my 3 kids and after 2 days went to give them up
for foster care, from Beaumont hospital, I was taken to the psychiatric
hospital and later discharged. After I got my kids back from foster
care, Segun Duyile still continued with his threats, he said my second
son Leke was never going to talk, everyone who knew me in Tralee, Kerry
between 2004 to 2006 was aware that Leke never spoke a word until he was
4years old, I took him for psychological assessments, to speech
therapists, even he had ear surgery, all to no avail until he was 4
years and one day just started talking.

Every
one advised me to cut off communication with Segun Duyile but I still
felt the kids needed their dad and I wasn’t going to stand in the way of
him playing his role as a dad. For all the years in Ireland I have been
the sole custodian and carer for all the kids. I studied, I worked part
time, I went into small scale trading; at different times. I put all of
myself into being both a mother and a father to my kids, then in
October 2007, Segun Duyile showed up at my door, he had come in
illegally through Belfast with his brother Kenny Duyile who had thrown
my kids into foster care some years back, they came with another friend
of theirs and starting talking about making things work again for the
sake of the kids. I refused and begged them to leave my house, even
then, I gave him all the options of joint custody. I saw how the kids
were so excited about their dad, the kids have never had anyone to call a
dad for years.

I
made the greatest mistake of my life, I gave in to sentiments, I wanted
a family, I wanted a dad for my kids, by 2008, I wrote a letter of
invitation for Segun Duyile to get a visa to Ireland .He made a lot of
promises concerning our family life, I thought it was a new beginning,
we even had our 10th wedding anniversary and renewal of vows… I put in
100% of myself into pleasing him but a leopard never changes its spots…I
was still suffering in silence as a result of his insensitivity and
lack of feelings or compassion… He came for visits to Ireland, I had our
daughter Amanda and he brought in his girlfriend from the UK, Francesca
Chukwuedo Lawal whom he introduced as his sister from another mother,
but Kenny Duyile’s wife had hitherto given me information about
Francesca who used to be a live-in girlfriend to her own husband and
their group of friends before they eventually transferred her to my own
husband and then promised to secure her a permanent ‘maga’ husband in
the name of Lekan Lawal…as he brought in his mistress to my home, I
couldn’t be bothered as I was recovering from child birth and was also
busy nursing my new baby. 

I went
about my own activities, I would leave both of them alone in the house
and come back sometimes to notice the fly of his pants were
down….Francesca took over my daughter’s room and one day Segun Duyile
beat the living daylight out of my daughter Catriona for entering
Francesca’s room and pulling down the blind, I took my daughter away and
sat in front of Tesco crying…this is the daughter that I couldnt even
nurse properly due to trauma and threats from him, the same child he
said would never live, the child that has known trauma from infancy, the
same child whose birth got us Residency in Ireland, and the same child
that gave us a home in Ireland…and now he’s beating her for entering her
own room, in her own home…because of his girlfriend…. Francesca became
so saucy and openly challenged me on why I didn’t abort my daughter
Catriona, and I asked why she didn’t abort her own baby… then both
herself and Segun Duyile started fighting me in my own home….my
neigbhour had to assist in calling the police to remove Francesca from
my home.

Segun Duyile continued
with all mental and emotional abuse towards me and would even abuse me
in the presence of the kids, he would travel around the world with
girlfriends and even post the pictures on facebook without regards for
me or our mutual friends and family. He will then come to Ireland
fighting me to give him the child benefit, which I explained to him I
utilised towards the children’s upkeep, there was no support from him
and I wasn’t complaining but I couldn’t give him money because we needed
all we could get, I took loans to pay my own tuition for my
Professional exams and I expected him to even be grateful that we were
managing okay without any support from him except the car which we
bought both with all my own personal savings and some money from him and
the occasional xmas presents he bought for the kids.

I
had no peace, he fought and abused me over money, he was never
satisfied with anything even if I was doing it with my last drop of
blood….in August 2010, I realised that the greatest mistake of my life
was Segun Duyile and his second coming, I hated myself for being so
naive and foolish to think that we could ever live together in harmony, I
realised that I had messed up my life once again by allowing him in
Ireland, after all my suffering and torture through him…I had my son in
the car with me when I was crying and I crashed, I remember coming out
of the car and lying in the middle of the road crying that I wanted to
die, I woke up in the hospital the next day. 

The
abuse continued and I kept everything all to myself until January 2011
when I begged him to leave my house and he refused, I told him there was
no way we could live together anymore, but he started threatening me
again, in April, I got a barring order against him which I didnt go to
court to effect but just wanted it as to caution him.
He had gone
behind my back to apply for residency and his residency was granted,
then 3 days later, I was dressed and was just stepping out to go to work
when he rushed out, I asked him about our daughter who was sleeping
upstairs and he said he had to leave, he left home 3 days after using me
to get resident permit in Ireland, the same way he used me to get his
1st UK visa. the next thing he deid was to try to throw me out of my
home and render me homeless after all the years of my suffering in
Ireland…that of course failed. 

I
went to Dublin to attend a workshop while himself and his friend Alex
Akinyemi abducted the kids from their minder and went to Social Services
to tell all sorts of lies …it was investigated and found to be false,
this same faggot liar of a fraud called Alex Akinyemi who happens to be a
Redeemed Church pastor would sit in my home and be discussing his wife
in a very negative light as he assumed the responsibility of condemning
all female lone parents to hell fire, Steve Jobs and Mark Zuckerberg to
hell fire and even condemned the late Princess Diana as a whore but sees
himself as being righteous with his own lies and fraudulent life.

I
am very very straight and there is no question about my sexuality, I
heard all the allegations of Segun Duyile’s homosexual alliance with a
certain Hausa friend of his in Lagos, whose wife is also aware of this, I
understand they are a dreaded cult in Nigeria, he has a right to be
bi-sexual but as for me, I have the right to remove him from my life as I
and my children would never be a part of that lifestyle and since the
children are a product of our heterosexual marriage and so IT DOES NOT
MAKE ANY SENSE FOR ANYONE TO THINK THEY COULD GIVE THE CHILDREN TO AN
HOMOSEXUAL ALLIANCE.

He went to
court seeking full custody of the children as he threatened me over
child benefit, he framed all lies and used the car accident incidence to
portray me as an unfit mother, by now, himself and his lawyer had
formed a close alliance with the social workers…I was in my home with my
kids at Christmas of 2011 when the police and the social workers came
to forcefully remove my kids from my home…I couldn’t even appear in
court when the case came up as I lost my dad during that period…I sent
in a statement of the case history and asked for an adjourment…the judge
in my town of Tralee absolved himself from sitting over that case, they
took the case to Killorglin, the judge in Killorglin also refused to
avail himself of that case…and then they fixed it to Killarney where
they got him a full custody and a barring order against me.

I
have no case with Frederick (who was only a guest in my house) in any
Law Court because there is no court on this earth that can settle the
case between him and myself but I will still be the one to TEACH HIM THE
MEANING OF JUSTICE….he it was, that took me to court again for
violation of the barring order when I wrote a letter to my 15 year old
son and also tried to see my son on his birthday the penultimate
year….to think that a woman would go through 15 years of torture,
trauma, and abuse and even leave for a man every asset they had both
worked for; and choosing only her kids…then the same man walks away with
her kids, thereby destroying her relationship with her kids …destroying
even her image by falsely portraying her as an incompetent mother.

HE HAS DESTROYED MY PAST AND A PART OF MY PRESENT AND I WONT HAVE HIM
DESTROY MY FUTURE THROUGH MY KIDS…I have a number of questions for the
Health Service Executive HSE, over this case….also I have written
letters and I’m still engaged in correspondence with the Minister of
Justice, as I need explanations as to whether I have nominated Frederick
to have custody of my kids, even if in case I am incapacitated, also I
need answer as to whether it is possible for a barber to perform the job
of barbing a head that is not present in his barbing shop…or if it is
possible for a surgeon to perform an operation on an absent patient
…because I WAS NOT PRESENT IN COURT, NEITHER HAD I A COUNSEL IN DEFENSE
WHEN THE RULING WAS MADE…ALL I DID WAS SENT IN A STATEMENT AND ASKED FOR
AN ADJOURNMENT WHILE THE KIDS SHOULD REMAIN IN THE CARE OF THE HSE,
SINCE IT WAS THE HSE THAT REMOVED THE KIDS FROM MY HOME…also I HOLD THE
HSE RESPONSIBLE FOR ALL MENTAL TRAUMA INFLICTED ON MYSELF AND THE KIDS
AS A RESULT OF THIS MISCARRIAGE OF JUSTICE AND FOR ANY DAMAGES OR
MOLESTATION THAT MAY BE INFLICTED ON THE KIDS AS THEY HAVE BEEN GIVEN TO
FREDERICK DUYILE.

MY STATEMENT ON BUKOLA ODUWAIYE’S VIDEO – ESTRANGED HUBBY REPLIES

“You
probably watched a videotape made by my estranged wife, Bukola. In that
video, she said many awful things about me and my family. I know how
intense anyone hearing this for the first time would feel upon viewing
her video. All things considered, I felt it important to make this brief
statement as my reaction to that videotape.

“The
purpose of this statement is not really to convince you that there is
no truth in what Bukola said, even though all of it, yes all of it, is
false and without substance. The fact, which I have always been
reluctant to disclose, is that Bukola has not been well. We have
struggled for years now with her devastating mental health condition. 

“I
make this statement just for our children’s sake. As you may have
known, the courts of Ireland examined the facts of our family problems.
After many interventions by child welfare services and the authorities,
the Courts of Ireland determined that it was in the best interest of our
children for them to be with their father because their mother’s health
challenges have turned her into a danger to the children and to me. You
will never know this by watching her video. Instead, you will most
likely conclude that she is a victim of gross spousal abuse. But just
like the Irish authorities, anybody that really gets to the facts will
disagree with her.

“I will not
come out here to try to persuade you to believe that the mother of my 4
children is a monster or evil. No! In fact, she is really a great
person, except that she is not well. If we have anyone to blame for what
she is doing, it will be the insidious ill-health that has ravaged
her. 

“If I have a request to make
of you, it is that you consider the interest of our young children as
you may be tempted to publicize or further disseminate Bukola’s video.
All of us, including her parents and siblings, are ashamed by it all. We
would be grateful if you can pray for us and allow us the privacy we
need to cope with the situation. Thank you very much.”

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Tireni Adebayo

Tireni Adebayo is the Editor of Kemi Filani News.She has BSC in Mass Communication from the Redeemer's University and M.A in Mass Communication from the University of Lagos (2014 - 2015) where she majored in Public Relations and Advertising and Digital Media.  When she is not writing, she is either listening to music or reading her favorite books.Tel: +2348000000901 Address: Herbert Macaulay, Yaba, Lagos, Nigeria Email: [email protected]

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