Bob-Manuel is one Nigerian entertainer that has been able to keep a good front in marriage.
The Nollywood star and politician recently hosted his family and friends to a dinner in Lagos, celebrating 15 years of marital bliss with wife, Casandra Udokwu.
In an interview with Encomiun weekly, Bob-Manuel opens up on marriage and life as a politician.
You’ve been married for
solid 15 years, what has kept your marriage?
solid 15 years, what has kept your marriage?
CASANDRA: It’s love,
pure love, sincere love. Love has different
dimensions. God has also been with us
because He sees the heart.
pure love, sincere love. Love has different
dimensions. God has also been with us
because He sees the heart.
Other than God and
love, what would you say has helped your marriage?
love, what would you say has helped your marriage?
BOB-MANUEL:
Determination to make the marriage work.
From the word go, we pledged to make it work. Again, we always leave room for
dialogue. If you close the door for
dialogue in your marriage, you open the door for disaster.
Determination to make the marriage work.
From the word go, we pledged to make it work. Again, we always leave room for
dialogue. If you close the door for
dialogue in your marriage, you open the door for disaster.
You are obviously happy
after 15 years in marriage?
after 15 years in marriage?
CASANDRA: Yes, I am
happy.
happy.
BOB-MANUEL: We also
needed to tell the world that celebrities equally make homes. Some of us also enjoy marital bliss.
needed to tell the world that celebrities equally make homes. Some of us also enjoy marital bliss.
Are there early
memories of your marriage you still keep with you?
memories of your marriage you still keep with you?
CASANDRA: The day I had
my daughter, he was in the labour room.
So, I won’t forget it.
my daughter, he was in the labour room.
So, I won’t forget it.
BOB-MANUEL: Yes, it was
a very landmark experience being my first time to have a baby. It was such a
pleasant experience because after cleaning up the baby, the Chief Matron handed
her over to me and I didn’t know what to do.
At that very moment, my perception of life changed. I suddenly realized that this baby handed
over to me is a life I am responsible for.
It dawned on me I’m no longer living a life for myself alone. You know you have a responsibility for other
people. So, it’s fundamental shift from
bachelorhood to being married and then being a father.
a very landmark experience being my first time to have a baby. It was such a
pleasant experience because after cleaning up the baby, the Chief Matron handed
her over to me and I didn’t know what to do.
At that very moment, my perception of life changed. I suddenly realized that this baby handed
over to me is a life I am responsible for.
It dawned on me I’m no longer living a life for myself alone. You know you have a responsibility for other
people. So, it’s fundamental shift from
bachelorhood to being married and then being a father.
What year was that?
I will leave that for
the sake of my daughter.
the sake of my daughter.
Your daughter shouldn’t
be more than 15 unless you had her before your wedding?
be more than 15 unless you had her before your wedding?
CASANDRA: She’s 14.
When you have issues,
how do you resolve them?
how do you resolve them?
BOB-MANUEL: I’m not
given to impulsive action. I’m the
contemplative type, so I might just keep quiet to understand the issue. But
there must be dialogue. You don’t allow
the issue or pressure of the moment to get at you, and then become irrational.
given to impulsive action. I’m the
contemplative type, so I might just keep quiet to understand the issue. But
there must be dialogue. You don’t allow
the issue or pressure of the moment to get at you, and then become irrational.
Madam, but there has
been this big issue that almost ruined your marriage?
been this big issue that almost ruined your marriage?
Nothing like that, my
brother.
brother.
BOB-MANUEL: If there
had been any issue I would tell you. We
have never had such monumental, earth-shaking marital problem.
had been any issue I would tell you. We
have never had such monumental, earth-shaking marital problem.
What about the sweetest
part of your marriage?
part of your marriage?
You know when you have
a nice person as a partner, it’s always sweet.
I tell him to his face, ‘you are nice.’
You can imagine when you call your husband and say, ‘Honey, may God
bless you. You have been so, so nice to
me.’
a nice person as a partner, it’s always sweet.
I tell him to his face, ‘you are nice.’
You can imagine when you call your husband and say, ‘Honey, may God
bless you. You have been so, so nice to
me.’
BOB-MANUEL: I think
being an actor also helps. There are
things I do with my family at home. If
you have a camera to record such scenes, I bet you it would be a best seller. Stardom stops at the front of my house. It’s a different ball game in there. So, my family savours every moment I spend
with them.
being an actor also helps. There are
things I do with my family at home. If
you have a camera to record such scenes, I bet you it would be a best seller. Stardom stops at the front of my house. It’s a different ball game in there. So, my family savours every moment I spend
with them.
There are some actors’
spouses who complain bitterly about their absentee husbands. Have you had such a challenge considering
your hubby’s busy schedule…
spouses who complain bitterly about their absentee husbands. Have you had such a challenge considering
your hubby’s busy schedule…
BOB-MANUEL: Let me come
in. My wife had that experience
first-hand. The first night we came back
from the traditional marriage, I and Sam Loco Efe, Norbert Young, Victor Eriabe…were
shooting a movie at Ilogbo (Badagry, Lagos).
So, we had to continue the shoot.
The long and short of it is that she slept alone on our first night as
man and wife. So, if she was not ready
to marry, she would have left the next morning.
She would just say, ‘I can’t take this, if this is what I’m going to
experience.’ She never complained. Except your wife doesn’t know your itinerary,
that’s when a problem would arise.
in. My wife had that experience
first-hand. The first night we came back
from the traditional marriage, I and Sam Loco Efe, Norbert Young, Victor Eriabe…were
shooting a movie at Ilogbo (Badagry, Lagos).
So, we had to continue the shoot.
The long and short of it is that she slept alone on our first night as
man and wife. So, if she was not ready
to marry, she would have left the next morning.
She would just say, ‘I can’t take this, if this is what I’m going to
experience.’ She never complained. Except your wife doesn’t know your itinerary,
that’s when a problem would arise.
If I get a script, I
share it with her. Sometimes, I ask her
to read. She acts like my manager. So, it’s a family thing. She even knows how much I get paid. If it’s below that, she gives me her advise
on it.
share it with her. Sometimes, I ask her
to read. She acts like my manager. So, it’s a family thing. She even knows how much I get paid. If it’s below that, she gives me her advise
on it.
Has it been all that
rosy?
rosy?
CASANDRA: It has been
rosy but with some little thorns. We are
all humans. But those thorns we handle
them fine and like he said, through dialogue.
It has been fun and sweet.
rosy but with some little thorns. We are
all humans. But those thorns we handle
them fine and like he said, through dialogue.
It has been fun and sweet.
What’s your take on
celebrities whose marriages crash as soon as they are contracted? How should they get it right?
celebrities whose marriages crash as soon as they are contracted? How should they get it right?
BOB-MANUEL: I think a
lot of patience has to go into it.
Maturity is not just about age.
One needs to be mentally, physically and psychologically mature before
getting married since both of you are coming from different backgrounds. Marriage has to come from sincere minds. You make up your mind you are going to get
married. You make up your mind you have
to make it work. You actually have to
work on marriage. If you have a
beautiful house and you don’t clean it, weeds would take it over. If you have a swimming pool and you don’t
maintain it, nature would take it over and mess it up. That’s the same thing with marriage. You have to nurture your marriage.
lot of patience has to go into it.
Maturity is not just about age.
One needs to be mentally, physically and psychologically mature before
getting married since both of you are coming from different backgrounds. Marriage has to come from sincere minds. You make up your mind you are going to get
married. You make up your mind you have
to make it work. You actually have to
work on marriage. If you have a
beautiful house and you don’t clean it, weeds would take it over. If you have a swimming pool and you don’t
maintain it, nature would take it over and mess it up. That’s the same thing with marriage. You have to nurture your marriage.
You’ve got two lovely
children. Can you please tell us about
them?
children. Can you please tell us about
them?
BOB-MANUEL: The girl
came first. Her name is Elyon Chinaza
Udokwu. She’s in Queens College. The boy came next. His name is Garvey. I named him after the late Marcus Garvey of
Jamaica. Garvey Chibugo Udokwu is in
Federal Science and Technical College (FSTC), Yaba, Lagos. Both of them are in secondary school. They have actually appeared with me in one,
two commercials and movie. They are
doing their thing.
came first. Her name is Elyon Chinaza
Udokwu. She’s in Queens College. The boy came next. His name is Garvey. I named him after the late Marcus Garvey of
Jamaica. Garvey Chibugo Udokwu is in
Federal Science and Technical College (FSTC), Yaba, Lagos. Both of them are in secondary school. They have actually appeared with me in one,
two commercials and movie. They are
doing their thing.
What do you do, ma?
I’m a teacher. I am the Deputy Director, Mileu Haven
Montessori School, here in Lagos.
Montessori School, here in Lagos.
How is your job?
You mean the political
aspect?
aspect?
Yes.
I’m still a Senior
Special Assistant to the Governor of Anambra State.
Special Assistant to the Governor of Anambra State.
What’s your portfolio?
SSA on Movie and the
Entertainment Industry. We are trying to
see how to make Anambra State the hub of entertainment. You are aware that notable names in the
industry are from Anambra State. And the
Governor (Obiano) is one man that knows the value of entertainment. Moreso, now that the rebasing of the Nigerian
economy was based on two main items: oil and gas and Nollywood. So, we are working on making Anambra the hub
of the creative enterprises. We have so
far organized some programmes like the Heritage Festival, held in December
2014. We work with the Ministry of
Information, Culture and Tourism and of course, the Youths and Sports as well
as the media team. It has been a
collaborative effort. We work to achieve
the same goal.
Entertainment Industry. We are trying to
see how to make Anambra State the hub of entertainment. You are aware that notable names in the
industry are from Anambra State. And the
Governor (Obiano) is one man that knows the value of entertainment. Moreso, now that the rebasing of the Nigerian
economy was based on two main items: oil and gas and Nollywood. So, we are working on making Anambra the hub
of the creative enterprises. We have so
far organized some programmes like the Heritage Festival, held in December
2014. We work with the Ministry of
Information, Culture and Tourism and of course, the Youths and Sports as well
as the media team. It has been a
collaborative effort. We work to achieve
the same goal.
But some people think
nothing much has really been done to achieve this?
nothing much has really been done to achieve this?
That is not true. The Anambra State Government under Chief
Willie Obiano is making giant strides in all aspects. A lot of movie makers ran away from Anambra
State, but go to the state right now, movies are being shot in all the nooks
and crannies of the state. There is even
a production he is partnering with the church, a major epic movie based on true
life story of the origin of Enugwu Ukwu people.
A whole lot is happening. This
Easter a lot would also be done.
Willie Obiano is making giant strides in all aspects. A lot of movie makers ran away from Anambra
State, but go to the state right now, movies are being shot in all the nooks
and crannies of the state. There is even
a production he is partnering with the church, a major epic movie based on true
life story of the origin of Enugwu Ukwu people.
A whole lot is happening. This
Easter a lot would also be done.
Are there programmes
you have now that would empower Nollywood filmmakers?
you have now that would empower Nollywood filmmakers?
Of course. Our job is always in public domain. People would sure see it.
Do you miss Nollywood?
I have never left
Nollywood to say I miss it.
Nollywood to say I miss it.
So, you still act?
I just finished a movie
last week. My job with the government is
about movie and entertainment. So, I
have to be involved to be able to advise the governor properly.
last week. My job with the government is
about movie and entertainment. So, I
have to be involved to be able to advise the governor properly.
You featured in some of
the early Nollywood movies. When are you
going to start your own production?
the early Nollywood movies. When are you
going to start your own production?
I’ve actually shot and
directed two films, Wedding Bells and Matters of the Heart. These were done
years back. More are also on the way.
directed two films, Wedding Bells and Matters of the Heart. These were done
years back. More are also on the way.
Let’s talk about
politics. What really happened to
Bob-Manuel Udokwu’s aspiration to Anambra State House of Assembly?
politics. What really happened to
Bob-Manuel Udokwu’s aspiration to Anambra State House of Assembly?
I didn’t get the party
ticket for reasons I can’t really explain.
I had to resign as a political appointee to vie for the elective office,
but when I didn’t get the APGA ticket, the governor was magnanimous enough to
reinstate me.
ticket for reasons I can’t really explain.
I had to resign as a political appointee to vie for the elective office,
but when I didn’t get the APGA ticket, the governor was magnanimous enough to
reinstate me.
Any regret?
Not at all. It has enriched me as a person. We are not letting up, we are moving
forward. We just have to be part of the
contribution to the political process of this country.
forward. We just have to be part of the
contribution to the political process of this country.
Would you give it
another shot in 2019?
another shot in 2019?
Oh, why not?
The Lord has indeed
been very good to you and your lovely wife and family. What more do you want from Him?
been very good to you and your lovely wife and family. What more do you want from Him?
One can never be
satisfied. There are dreams and
aspirations one had to accomplish. One
needs to get the level where like a fisherman, you can cast a net for the
benefit of the people.
satisfied. There are dreams and
aspirations one had to accomplish. One
needs to get the level where like a fisherman, you can cast a net for the
benefit of the people.
What about you, madam?
Life and good
health. I’ve also told my husband, in my
next world, you would be my husband. My
mother-in-law would be my mother-in-law, my father-in-law would be my
father-in-law. In fact, I want to still
be with all the good and beautiful people who have made my life here sweet and
comfortable.
health. I’ve also told my husband, in my
next world, you would be my husband. My
mother-in-law would be my mother-in-law, my father-in-law would be my
father-in-law. In fact, I want to still
be with all the good and beautiful people who have made my life here sweet and
comfortable.