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“I go to the market while my wife does the cooking” Captain Ekeinde and Omotola talk about their 18-year-old union

The Ekeindes
Guys, read this interesting interview that the Ekeindes had with Kemi Ashefon of Punch newspaper.

Award-winning
actress and one of TIME 100 most influential persons, Omotola Jalade
Ekeinde, is a reporter’s delight. After several months of chase, she and
her husband, Matthew, agreed to an interview last Saturday. Held in
their Lagos home, they talk about their 18-year-old union
When did you propose to her?
Matthew: We didn’t court. I met
her when she was 16 and  I was 26. We got married when she was 18. She
clocked 36 recently. We were family friends and I met her through my
elder sister. She used to come around the house and when she turned 18, I
decided she was ripe. I told her I would marry her and she didn’t
believe. I went to tell her late mother, who said I should wait till
after four years because Tola had just gained admission to the
university then. I told the mother that I couldn’t wait because I didn’t
trust the guys in the university.
How has the journey been for 18 years?
Omotola: Nothing has changed
really. It is still the same relaxed, easy-going relationship. There are
times when we have misunderstandings but it is never anything serious
or unbelievably scary. It has been the grace and fear of God. Everything
results in what God thinks about the situations and we pray about it.
Everyone is conscious of the fact that we must respect God in the
relationship and then your spouse. We don’t just do things. Secondly, we
are very grounded and real. We try the best we can to make everything
natural. We don’t stress ourselves.
How did you manage the fame?
Omotola: It is just by God’s grace. If a couple cooperates with God, then He gives them the grace to tolerate each other.
How do you react to alleged scandals about your wife?
Matthew: I have heard and seen a
lot that were untrue about her. I trust her. I know they will always
write a lot of nonsense, why should I bother myself?
How do you feel when she plays romantic roles in movies?
Matthew: They are all
make-believe. They are not real and most of her movies are pecks and not
kisses. I told her not to cross that boundary.

http://distilleryimage9.ak.instagram.com/e753fb5a9fbc11e39b201200d5b37c85_8.jpg 
What are the secrets of your successful marriage?
Matthew: It is God’s grace. We are disciplined and prayerful.
Omotola: It has to be God. There
is no other strategy. One person can be perfect and the second person
can be nasty. On our part, I’d say also that we don’t look at the
relationship as something we can walk away from. We look at it as a life
commitment. When you parents upset you, you cannot divorce them. Even
the bible says you will leave your father and your mother and cleave to
your spouse. Luckily, he doesn’t drink or smoke or abuse me. I don’t
have any major thing to complain about, and I hope it is the same thing
for him.
Do you quarrel?
Matthew: Yes we do. A lot. She is
very argumentative. She always wants to be right. You can never win an
argument with her. But she is the first to apologise.
Omotola: When there is a quarrel, I
usually apologise first. He doesn’t say sorry. Overtime, I have come to realize that it is an ego problem. Even when he knows he is wrong, he
will rather do every other thing or buy things for me than say, ‘I’m
sorry.’ Fortunately, the ‘sorrys’ are not too many. He is very
responsible and more hardworking than me. By God’s grace, we have been
able to understand our routine.
What is your advice to celebrity couples?
Matthew: Foundation really
matters. Some people get into the relationship for one wrong motive or
the other. Most of them live false lives. Couples that are in the same
profession hardly last in a marriage. There is always competition. The
best thing is to marry someone that is compatible with you.
What are the reasons for break up in celebrity marriages?
Omotola: It is really hard but you
both have to feel extremely secure. You have to be extremely confident
and trust each other. There are so many things to deal with, especially
in this environment where some people just thrive in hurting other
people. The weird part is that you cannot believe that people are
capable of such wickedness. You are sane and cannot believe other people
are insane. These are the things that cause break up in celebrity
marriages. A lot of people are talking and saying nasty things that are
not true. It is just as if there is a gang up to break you up once they
know you are a celebrity or in a relationship. Most times, they are all
lies! Celebrity lifestyle gossip is getting to a point where they are
getting close to your kids and family. They try to put your relationship
in jeopardy. Then, petty things that wouldn’t cause any problems become
issues. I hope there would be legislation that will protect families.
Have you ever felt threatened by her success?
Matthew: There is no reason or
room for it. When I met her, she was just Omotola Jalade, and she had
done just one movie. I am happy for her. When I met her, she was just
getting into the movie industry. I always encourage her and hope for the
best. I don’t feel threatened in any way.
How do you switch from the lifestyle of a celebrity to that of a wife?
Omotola: It is easy for me. It
starts with who you truly are. The real me is not very glamorous. People
may not believe it. I know what people’s perception can be. I am a
homely person. If I had my way, I wouldn’t go out. When I am at home, I
am Omotola. When I am with my close friends, we don’t impress each other
and we try to keep it very real.
With the children, who is stricter?
Matthew: She is. We are blessed with kids that behave themselves. We do not have children that are into all sort of funny things.
How about the recent warning to bloggers about your daughter’s pictures?
Matthew: I do not know why they
would do that but it is just another lesson for the kids to be very
careful about what they put out there. Actually, she did it with the
intent of exchanging with her friends, not knowing that people will get
into her private business. We have told her to take down all the
pictures and leave only one.
How do you handle finance in your marriage?
Matthew: When we first started, we
had one account. We had goals and things that we wanted to do. Whatever
we earned had to be in one purse. Then, we sat at the end of the month
and drew a budget. We did that for so many years and were successful
until she started her own company and we decided she needed to have her
own account. In most marriages, the man goes into the marriage with the
mindset that he will be the sole provider even when the wife is working.
That does not make any sense. He uses his money to pay bills while the
woman will use hers to buy only make-up, clothes and shoes. If the
couple is one, they should join resources together to move ahead. Money
causes problems in a family when one person is being selfish. It doesn’t
matter who earns more or less. They should have a common goal. Save
together and accomplish things together.
Omotola: When we first started, we
used to have a joint account and I was in charge of the finances. But
as time went on, he started expanding. He has his own businesses and I
have my own too. It is very difficult keeping a joint account. One of
the things that scare couples about finance is trust. Luckily for us, we
do not have vices. The trust is intact and I know how he spends money.
He is more organised than I am. He has his budgets and it is always
open. Sometimes, he even tells his kids to go and look at his budget
because he is trying to teach them how to make budgets. Pilots are every
meticulous about schedules. For that reason, his life is almost boring
because everything is to the letter. I am the one who never has a budget
because I am a spontaneous person. But he knows I am not a trivial
person. I don’t just go about buying jewellery. That’s why I don’t have
many girlfriends because I don’t talk about those things girls talk
about. I am like a dude. I am always checking out cars or properties. He
knows the kind of things I would invest my money on.
How can a woman have a successful marriage?
Omotola: I don’t believe in gender
equality. I do not believe that God made man and woman to be equal in
any way. I believe that in every organised institution, there is always a
head and an assistant. It doesn’t mean that one should take the other
for granted, or disrespect the other. I believe the husband is the head
of the home and the wife is an assistant. My husband is a pilot, I have
flown with him several times and I understood that here is a captain and
a co-pilot. They are both responsible for the passengers’ lives. But
when there is a final decision to make, it is up to the captain to make
it. He is more experienced and the one with the responsibility. But any
mature captain will not ignore his co-pilot because the co-pilot is not a
cabin attendant. He is there for a reason. It just depends on how you
understand and play your roles. I believe women should understand this.
When a woman starts a struggle for power tussle with him, it tends to
cause friction in the home. The woman should give the man the respect as
the head of the home and also prove herself as a worthy co-pilot. He
needs to see you as a reliable co-pilot. Sometimes, he may not be the
one running the house day-to-day, you are the one to take decisions but
you have to do it in such a manner that he is comfortable enough to see
you as someone he can rely on. When you have a proud and egocentric
husband, hand him over to God. If you feel like your life is being
threatened, or that of your children, get yourself out of that
situation. You owe your children that. Try separation for a while, but
before that, you must have tried other things. I do not believe that
people should throw in the towel in their marriage at every flimsy
excuse. You must have been a diligent wife and tried prayers and
intervention. If all those fail, then you can remove yourself from that
situation. Also, couples should be friends and communicate. What we call
love sometimes fizzles out. True love comes from friendship. When you
don’t feel those initial sparks, friendship is what keeps you together,
until when the spark comes again.
Do you still have time to cook?
Omotola: I cook all the time. I love to cook. I don’t go to the market but I do the cooking.
You go to the market for her?
Matthew: Yes and I don’t feel bad
doing it. I am not just doing it for her; I do it for the family. I
enjoy it a lot and I have been doing it since we got married.
He said you are stricter with the children
Omotola: My kids think I am the
strictest parent on the planet. I was brought up under very strict
parents but I try to balance it. I know the things that really matter
and the things that don’t. When you meet my kids you will know that they
are well brought up.  That’s what gives me the biggest joy.
How do you feel with bad press?
Omotola: I don’t think about it
because I have a lifestyle that corrects everything. Talk is cheap and I
tell them to come out with proof if they have any. But if they don’t
have anything, they should shut up for life. I am not interested in
those kinds of talks. My husband knows me, I know myself and the people
who are close to me know I can’t do the things they write about. They
know what I stand for and what I signify. My hands are clean and I don’t
have any hidden skeleton in any cupboard. I meet people that I want to
meet but in everything I do, I make sure that I do not do what I cannot
explain.
How would you describe your wife?
Matthew: She is a go-getter. She
is very determined to succeed. As a wife, she is good. But sometimes, I
wish she was a lot more around. She travels almost as much as I do.
Sometimes, I wonder who the pilot is. As a mother, she does well; the
kids are even more scared of her than they are of me. I keep thanking
God because of my family because when I look around me, I see marriages
that are still struggling.
How do you spend time together?
Matthew: We always talk, spend time the best way we can and usually stay at home, to do what couples do.
Omotola: Whenever we decide to
spend time with the family, we dedicate sometime. My kids do not go out
without us. They do not visit friends. They are very sheltered. They are
always in the house with us and we hang out together.
What would you like to change about him?
Omotola: I don’t know if it is
even possible to change it. I am not someone who tries to change anyone.
I just try to manage situations and people. I live with them in such a
way that it does not hurt me. Maybe if he can talk more. Generally, I
wish he could be more communicative. But they say women are talkative.
What is your advice to couples who want to stay successfully married?
Omotola: If they want to be
successfully married, they have to take time to be so close to each
other that every other thing does not matter. There should never be
third parties in your marriage. It is like a wall. The minute it’s
cracked and lizards start coming in, it will be hard to find the lizards
and throw them out. And they will start creeping into your family. Try
and always sort out the issues between you. Moreover, pay your tithe
individually. It’s a covering. This is our secret. When you don’t pay
your tithe, you have not committed yourself and your home will not be
put together. It is your foundation. But when you pay your tithe, God
helps you take away every devourer. When that is taken care of and you
are God-fearing, as darts are coming from every angle, you are already
fortified. If you trust each other, tell each other the truth even if
one person errs.
What pet names do you call each other?
Matthew: I call her Omosexy.
Omotola: I call him Honey Boy
Do you see this love lasting forever?
Omotola: Yes, though I’m not playing God, I believe our love shall be forever.
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15 Comments

    1. He said he married his wife untouched. That is what is making the marriage one in a billion. There may be great love even if she had been touched, but it will not be as rock solid. You are free to believe or disbelieve me. May the lord bless the family.

    2. Very good interview but both of them looked too perfect for each other, too good to be true, one would have liked to hear or read some real challenges they faced n how they managed to solve it. Some much more human angles.

    1. You are an idiat! Ddnt your read the intro part " After several months of chase, she and her husband, Matthew, agreed to an interview last Saturday. Held in their Lagos home" if they were seeking attention, why wud it take the reporter several months to meet with them. Isi Ewu

    2. Don't mind some commentors o. Even if they want attention, it's part of what her job requires. Media efizii. Jealousy go kill you. Anon. 6 :23

  1. Why wud a man be going to the market, that's totally WRONG! It's d duty of the wife, anyway i dont blame them, Omotola bosses him around #nuffsaid

    1. Anon 6:33 do u leave in their house to know that she bosses him about? Or are u a stalker? So a man shouldn't help his wife again? Is she a slave? Some people just irritate me!

  2. Lmao, he banned his wife from kissing in the movies, no wonder omosexy doesnt kiss anymore, all she does is pecking. I really admire them sha

  3. "We have told her to take down all the pictures and leave only one" Kemi oooo, it is a lie, she still has the pictures there. She even shared two more sexy ones on the 24th and 26th of last month, this implies that she doesn't listen to her parents. Thanks me laers you hear. #winkz

  4. "I don't believe in gender equality,I believe the husband is the head & the wife an assistant"- Ladies take note o

  5. OMOTOLA ALL YOU HAVE SAID IS TRUE AND I PRAY THAT LET THE CHAIN CONTINUE TO FLOW IN YOUR HOME IN JESUS NAME, AMEN. I WANT TO FURTHER ADVICE COUPLES MOST ESPECIALLY WOMEN TO EMULATE WHAT OMOTOLA SAID AND I COTE ” IN EVERY HOME THERE IS A LEADER”

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