Big Story: How ‘Lawmaker’ Lawan Farouk got into trouble!!!

 Lawmaker, Hon. Farouk Lawan has responded to all the allegations against him by saying “…this last trial is a trial from God and I believe that in the end, I shall prevail. God is trying me and he will soon vindicate me”
Anyways, an in-house source has disclosed that “Nigerians will reel with laughter if they ever get to watch the video where Farouk Lawan was accepting the bribe from Otedola. It is
on the one hand hilarious and on the other, shameful”

In the video, Lawan was clearly seen stuffing wads
of dollar bills into his pocket, when his pocket was full, to the utter shock
of all those who have seen the damning video, he removed his cap and concealed
the remaining wads of dollar bills inside it and replaced the cap on his head.
(Too bad)

According to the source in the security services, on
the first visit, he had lunch with Otedola where the amount to be paid was
negotiated and eventually agreed on.
Investigations revealed that Lawan’s resort to stuffing the money in
his pockets and cap was done to avoid arousing suspicion from Otedola’s
domestic help who would have seen him entering the house empty handed and
coming out carrying a bulging envelope.

However, unknown to him, a surveillance video camera carefully installed by the
SSS was recording all his actions.”


In the meantime, here goes an ‘hilarious’ wonderful piece about Nigeria and its corrupt leaders (and how Farouk got into trouble), written
by Ogunyemi Bukola (Zebbook) of It got me giggling *winks*.

The Gospel According To ‘Saint’ Farouk By Ogunyemi Bukola

  • 1)
     And it came to pass after these things, on the first day of the
    first month of the twelfth year after the second millennium, that king
    Jona son of Bele announced to the people saying; there is no money left in
    the royal treasury, and the future of the kingdom is in great danger.
  • 2)
    Therefore, a measure of oil shall no longer sell for three scores of
    silver and seven, but shall now be seven scores of silver and one. But the
    people grumbled aloud, and said unto another, what shall it profit our
    king to gain all these oil money and lose his throne?
  • 3) For it
    is appointed unto him to reign but once, and after this prison, for many
    are the atrocities which he has committed.
  • 4)
     So they said unto the king, eat thou thy food in peace in the
    palace, and surround thou thyself with thine women, only touch not our oil
    price and do thy people no harm.
  • 5) But
    the king would not listen, and said unto himself, I know my people, they
    shall only grumble for a while and soon they shall forget.
  • 6) But the
    people would not forget, for the burden was too much for them to bear, and
    they said; now unto him that is able to increase the price of oil
    exceeding abundantly above all that his people can bear or think,
    according to the greed which worketh in him;
  • 7) Unto
    him be curses in the streets by the masses throughout all ages, protests
    without end.
  •  So
    they took to the streets and gave the land no peace, and there was no
    going out or coming in throughout the kingdom for two weeks, and the king
    feared greatly and said to himself, surely these people shall overturn me
    if I answer them not.
  • 9) So he
    called the head of the labourers unto the palace, and gave him bags of
    gold, that he mayest turn off the wrath of the people against the king.
  • 10) So the
    king assembled the people and said unto them; a measure of oil shall no
    longer be seven scores of silver and one, but shall now be four scores of
    silver, one dozen and five, to this your leaders have agreed. Praise me
    now therefore for I am a benevolent king.
  • 11) And
    after all these, the Loudspeaker of the House of People said, let us
    inquire into the king’s claim that there be no money in the royal
    treasury. So they appointed Farcrook, son of Lawal.
  • 12) And
    said unto him, gather ye now all the oil sellers, that we may know who
    stole from the kingdom. This did him with diligence, and came back with
    his report saying
  • 13)
    Thieves abound in the land, and so have the oil sellers stole from the
    people, and gave them not oil, this they did with the help of Aliyaro the
    king’s mistress; and the amount he mentioned was unheard of in the land.
  • 14) When
    the people heard this, they were dismayed, and sorrow gripped their
  • 15) But
    the oil sellers went in unto the king in his chamber, and said;
    rememberest thou O king that the what we stole did we make available to
    thy campaign, and by thus did we make you king.
  • 16) If
    thou deliver us unto the people that they may punish us, we will hold not
    our tongue to tell the people that thou art one of us.
  • 17) And
    they said unto him, how else shall we destroy the message if not to
    destroy the messenger? Let us therefore implicate Farcrook the son of
    Lawal in this matter.
  • 18) So
    they sent a certain rich man from the West by the name Otedollar, and he
    took Farcrook into his house and gave him some money, that he may alter
    the report which he had set before the people.
  • 19) And it
    was that Otedollar went before an assembly of the people and said unto
    them, trust ye this man who said we stole from the treasury? Surely he is
    one of us, for he came unto me in the middle of the night, and he left
    with his pockets full of money.
  • 20) And
    the people where amazed, and their hearts bled, for Farcrook was a man in
    whom they had put their trust.
  • 21) So
    Farcrook arose, and said; Otedollar is my briber, I did not request. He
    maketh me to sit down in his Maitama house; he leadeth me beside the
    chilled champagne.
  • 22) He
    exploited my greed; he leadeth me in the path of marked dollars for
    subsidy’s sake.
  • 23) Yea,
    even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of EFCC, I will fear
    no arrest: for bribes are with me; my loots and my kickbacks they comfort
  • 24) Thou
    preparest the dollars before me, in the presence of the SSS: thou
    anointest my mouth with wine; my pocket runneth over.
  • 25) Surely
    the shame and reproach shall follow me all the days of my life, but I will
    dwell in the house of PDP forever and ever.
  • 26) And
    the people wept, but there was no one to console them.
So, what do you think about Zebbook’s writeup?

Tireni Adebayo

Tireni Adebayo is the Editor of Kemi Filani News.She has BSC in Mass Communication from the Redeemer's University and M.A in Mass Communication from the University of Lagos (2014 - 2015) where she majored in Public Relations and Advertising and Digital Media.  When she is not writing, she is either listening to music or reading her favorite books.Tel: +2348000000901 Address: Herbert Macaulay, Yaba, Lagos, Nigeria Email: [email protected]

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